Numb
by Dodden
Summary: Clark has gone Numb. Can Lois make him feel again? Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Numb**

**Author: Dodden**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Pairing: Clois **

**I know I've said I wasn't going to post anything, but that never meant I wasn't going to stop writing. This is an idea I came up with about a week ago. There are eight chapters to it. Six of them are completed. I will post the remaining chapters depending on the feedback. This is very much a test fic, and I really haven't read it over for mistakes. **

**This wasn't supposed to be posted anywhere, just a piece for me to work on my skills, but I might as well let you fine people take a gander at it. **

_**Chapter 1**_

Clark lifted a forkful of manure out of the horse stall and dropped in into the wheelbarrow. This was the job he hated the most. Instead of being able to use the loader to remove waste, he was resigned to physical labor. He could have super sped to finish it more quickly, but the manure wasn't solid enough, it would have flung all over the place. He used an eight pronged fork just to make sure he got everything. He had Sheriff, the large riding horse, stashed in the stall beside him as he cleaned out the current one.

Catching a sudden whiff of the air, he stopped forking and leaned his head up. Staring at the horse, he leaned his hands on the top of the fork. "I move you for five minutes and you have to desecrate that new stall already?" Clark glared at the horse, and continued his farm work. Grunting in displeasure, he began to whistle while he continued his forking.

The days were longer now that summer had come, but along with the longer days came the heat and the humidity. It wasn't near mid May yet, and the air was stickier than molasses. He shook his head and laughed a little as he felt Sheriff put his head over into the stall and push him a little. Clark laughed a little louder as he felt the beast nudge his shoulder, clearly looking for attention. "What?" Clark asked, setting the fork aside to rest on one of the pen walls. The horse grunted its own answer as he removed his soaked shirt. It was hotter than usual, and the white t-shirt was completely drenched. Slinging the shirt across the pen door, he turned back and grabbed the fork again. "Give me a minute Sheriff. I'll have you back in your own stall before you know it."

-

Lois parked her car in the driveway, her exit bringing about a wave of heat and moisture. Her body became instantly sticky as she wiped at her arms hastily. It was nice and cool in the car, thanks to air conditioning, but she almost felt as if the sun was personally torturing her this day. Closing the door to her car, she put the folder in her hand under her arm as she went to the house. Up the stairs she went, her sandals plopping down loudly. She knocked on the door a few times, getting no answer in return. Not today she thought to herself. She had just finished the report Martha had asked her to finish for some senate work, but she wasn't thinking of having to go root around for someone.

Martha didn't appear to be home, but she was more than sure Clark was around. He always was, and that was more than reassuring. Sighing a little, she grabbed the folder and bounced down the steps, her ponytail mimicking her motion. Her green tank top clung to her like saran wrap as she wiped a sweaty palm on her usual tight blue jeans. She grunted in displeasure as she walked towards the barn. She had her sandals on, certainly not the type of footwear to be going into a barn with.

More than a little frustrated that she had to go rooting for Smallville, she fanned herself with the folder as she stepped through the barn door. It was the one with the milking parlor and holding area, but she couldn't find him anywhere. She didn't exactly go around searching for him since the place really wasn't to be entered without rubber boots. Closing the door, she made her way to the stable shed where the horses were. Either he was there, or up in the loft.

It may have been a while since she had lived at the Kent farm, but she knew full well chores were being partook, and that was around mid afternoon. It was such a time now, and Smallville was more than likely shoveling manure. It always surprised her at how peaceful and quiet it was around the farm. When there was no else around to talk to, it was in fact deathly quiet, except for an occasional cow balling.

The closer she got to he shed, the more she could here a soft whistle getting louder and louder. It fascinated her that he could get such pleasure from doing such dirty and strenuous labor, but then again, she was a city girl at heart. In the year of living with him, she had tried to help with the farm chores, but Mr. Kent wouldn't allow her to. Her initial try pretty had much put an abrupt end to her farming life. She had tried to shovel some manure, and she had fell face first into a patty. From that day on, she was never asked to step foot inside the barn again, even though she insisted on it. Clark would always come to her defense when Martha told her to go help him outside in the barn. His excuses for her were always lame, but they worked. It was sort of weird; he would always say that he could get them done quicker when he was alone.

She smiled to herself as entered the barn, Clark's prefect whistling ringing full in her ears as she stepped through the door and onto the hay littered floor. The stable barn always had a clean floor, the same couldn't be said for the pens, but Clark did a pretty good job at cleaning them. She could see his legs from underneath the large horse, aptly named Sheriff, as he washed it down. He was concealed by the large body of the beast, the water from the brush rubbing on the horse falling to the ground at his feet.

She noticed that the horse wasn't even tied up, but then again, Clark seemed to usually forgo any type of restraints when it came to animals. He treated them like humans sometimes, even to her chagrin. Usually he would have picked up on her presence by now, but he seemed to be too caught up in his merry little tune. As she neared the beast, she crinkled her nose at its smell. She had never enjoyed the smell of horses, no matter how beautiful they may have looked. She stood there for a second, wondering if he would see her, but all he did was continue to wash the beast. His hand would come up to the top of the horse's back, but his eyes would never come over. His hair did a couple of times, but of course, never his eyes. She cleared her throat loudly as she made her presence know.

Clark heard something and stopped his whistling. He lifted his head and peeked over the horse, his eyes resting on Lois who stood on the other side. "Lois." He exclaimed in surprise. A bead of sweat fell down his forehead and dropped off his nose. It fell into the puddle on the floor as he watched it. He realized he didn't have shirt on, and fidgeted a little.

"Hey Smallville." She said with a chipper tone, looking right at him and realizing that he was sweatier than she was. She could only see him from the neck up, but she could only imagine how wet his shirt was.

"What brings you by?" Clark asked, as he tore his attention from her and resumed washing down Sheriff.

"I have a report for your mom, and I was told to bring it by as soon as I finished."

Clark nodded to himself and continued his scrubbing. "You can leave it here with me, or just drop it off in the house if you want." He stopped and looked over the horse to notice her looking at him. "Lois?" He asked as she fanned herself with the folder. She didn't seem to be listening. He couldn't blame her, it was unbearably hot. Dropping the brush into the pail, he picked up the bucket of water in one hand and walked around to the other side of the horse, making sure he got both sides clean.

Lois fanned herself and got lost in the heat. Her breathing was already in a panted state as she snapped back to reality as he moved from around the other side of the horse. Her eyes fell from his face as she noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt. His sweaty muscles glistened in the light of the barn, his right arm tensing slightly as he carried the bucket. She couldn't help but stare as he turned his back to her and began washing the horse once again. Her eyes lingered on his strong back as she saw his tight muscles ripple and bounce.

Clark turned around as he felt her eyes still on him. She was staring at him, still fanning herself with the folder. It was a weird look, as she leaned back on one leg, her eyes staring lustfully. Her gaze made him incredibly uncomfortable. He would have blushed, but he was already too damn hot to get any redder. In one smooth motion, he ripped the folder from her and put it on a bench by a support post.

She snapped out of her little daydream as she felt the wind from her folder disappear. Her body jerked back a little in surprise. She instantly realized what she had been doing as he stood in front of her with his arms crossed. Redding to an enormous level; she tried to shake away the images of her first encounter with the bumbling idiot. The last time she had ever thought sexually about any man close to her was Oliver, and he had broken up with her almost three months ago. Still trying to rip away her mental images, she was given a display of his body as he bounced his pectorals up and down. Her knees went weak as her mouth opened slightly. It may have been Smallville, but she couldn't ignore such a fine display of perfection.

"Lois, are you all right?" He asked, reaching out and grabbing her shoulder.

As his hand touched her, a sudden spark jolted her back to reality. "Y-y-yes. I'm fine Smallville." She tired desperately to look anywhere but at his face.

Seeing that she was incredibly uncomfortable, he turned back around and continued washing. "It's okay Lois, it's a hot day, and I would be lying if I didn't notice that tight shirt you have on." He didn't notice actually, but he knew it would give her a chance to feel a little better.

Lois smirked to herself. "So you really noticed my tight shirt huh?" She asked, getting her bearings back on track.

"Well, not really." He responded, still washing.

That hurt her just a little, but she would never admit such a thing. "Then why would you say something like that?" She asked, her tone of voice more than a little angry.

"Because." He stated hastily, bending down and grabbing the sponge, leaving the brush inside the bucket. "I gave you the gun powder you needed to shoot me down, but instead you take the opportunity to be serious. Come on Lois, I know you better than that." He chuckled softly as he felt her punch him in the back. "There you are. I was wondering when the real Lois would show up." He cackled loudly as he finished washing and dropped the sponge in the water.

Lois rolled her eyes as she stood there waiting for him to turn back around. Things had gotten back to their usual bickering after almost a month of not talking. The whole situation with the Valentines Day kiss, and what had happened after she planted him a big one, had kept them from talking. He of course was the first to break the silent rift between them, coming to her at her apartment and making sure that they hashed things out. In truth, that month had been almost as bad, or possibly even worse than the few days following the break up with Ollie. It was strange, she and Clark hadn't been angry at each other. In truth, it was the awkward conversation in the loft that had made things unbearable. That whole month she grappled with the notion of coming to the farm and talking to him, but of course she had been her usual stubborn self.

Her emotions were at a weird place when they had spoken in the barn. It freaked her out to learn that she had actually made him a Whitesnake CD full of power ballads. Deep down her conscious knew something that she didn't, and it scared her to death. It signified feelings that she thought she would never have for the farm boy. To her they meant love, not just normal love, like that of friends or family, but love of hunger, need, and want. Chloe had even tried to get things back to where they were before it happened, and she even insisted that she come forth with those locked feelings to Clark, but she ignored her cousin, letting the pain gnaw at her gut.

That day that he had shown up on her doorstep was frightening, but once he had told her how he felt about everything that had happened, and reassured her there was nothing wrong, she had gotten completely over it. He always had a way of getting her to look past things. She couldn't remember if it was because of his charming smile, or just because he was the only person that really seemed to understand her. That latter part still troubled her to this very day. It was something she had hard time accepting. She liked to remain a mystery; it gave her the upper hand. She knew she could have her way with Clark verbally, but when things suddenly became serious, she tightened up like a scared cat.

Clark grabbed the pail and made his way to the hose. He washed the pail out and cleaned the brushes. He stood back up and turned to Lois, who was letting Sheriff lick her hand. She was giggling softly as his tongue traced her open palm. "See, they're not all mean." He laughed, setting the pail next to the faucet where the hose was attached.

Lois smiled as she looked from her hand to Clark, who was holding the hose in his hand. "His tongue is surprisingly cool for such heat." She said with a small giggle, feeling the beast tickling her.

Clark smiled back and nodded. "Don't ask me how they do it." He was about to turn the water off, but he bent over and placed the water hose over his head. The refreshing feeling couldn't come soon enough as he let the water cascade down the back of his head and flow off his chin and nose. He let out a moan of pleasure as he felt his back shiver slightly. He suddenly wished he had a pool. Bringing his head, up, he noticed that Lois was watching him. "Care for a cool off?" He asked softly.

Lois shook her head and politely declined. "No, but thanks for asking." She paused for a second as she grabbed the folder and went to go back to the house.

"Lois?"

"Yes Smallville?"

Clark turned the tap off and found his shirt. It was still soaked as he held it in one hand. "You don't need to feel uncomfortable, it's okay if you just want to come here and hang out with me. We discussed this about two months ago, remember?"

She stopped dead in her tracks, her back going completely rigid. "I know Clark, it's just that." She stopped, trying to find the exact words. "It's still weird." She finished it with a soft voice.

He smiled weakly at her as he walked up and draped a friendly arm around her shoulder. "I know Lois, but after an evening of fried chicken and a few sappy movies, the ones you like, you'll feel better." He squeezed her to him as he guided her towards the door.

Lois got caught up in his manly aroma, her eyes closing just a little in delight. If he wasn't helping her walk, she would have stumbled forward. "Fried chicken eh?" She asked, steeling herself instantly. "I thought your mother wasn't home."

Clark shrugged and took his arm off her. "No, she's in Metropolis overnight, but that doesn't mean I can't cook Lois."

"I had no idea you possessed culinary skills Smallville. I hope they're better than mine" She jested.

"Just enough that it's edible, unlike your spaghetti." He mocked, his laughter cutting the hot air.

"Hey." Lois shouted. "You ate it."

"Yes I did." He said triumphantly.

"Why?" She asked, genuinely intrigued why he would eat something that he said was inedible.

"I was hungry." He stated simply, as he reached the door with her.

"You wouldn't turn down a meal even if it could possibly kill you?" she asked seriously. He didn't seem to take it seriously though.

"There was no malicious intent behind your cooking, so if I died, I'd die knowing that it was an accident. I could live the rest of eternity knowing that." He grinned as he was about to close the barn door.

"Wait." Lois said, placing a hand on his arm as he tried to close the door. "What about the horse?" She asked, looking into the barn at the beast.

"Oh." Clark replied, not realizing that he hadn't put him back in the stall. "You just head to the house and I'll put him back in the stall." He quickly darted back in the barn.

She rolled her eyes in a tight smile. "I hardly knew you'd be able to get so distracted," She mocked as she turned and headed back to the house. When she was halfway back the house, she felt his hand rip the folder out of hers. "Hey." She turned to give him a piece of her mind, but instead, she was greeted with a pail of ice cold water in her face. The initial shock lasted only a couple of seconds, and she would have normally yelled at him, but the cool moisture felt so good on her sticky body. She hastily undid her ponytail and shook the water out of her hair. When she looked back up, she smiled at him. "Thanks, I really needed that."

"I know." He said with a returning grin. He walked past her and up the steps to the house. Setting the pail on the porch by the door, he held it open for Lois as she moved by and into the house. He followed after, but not before he kicked his boots off on the porch. "I'm going to have a shower." He proclaimed, dropping the folder on the counter. "You wouldn't mind turning the oven on for me?" He asked as he vaulted his way up the stairs. When he stopped at the top, he looked down at her as she stared at him dubiously. "You can manage to turn it on without burning the house down, can't you?"

"Yes." She said dryly as she made her way over and flipped the dial. She listened to his fleeting laughter as she put the dial to four hundred degrees. The oven would be ready the same time he would be done with his shower. She admired his foresight sometimes. Maybe he wasn't quite as dumb as she thought he was. Laughing to herself, she realized that she never really considered him dumb, just incredibly inept at perceiving human emotion and reacting appropriately. It was like he had been raised on a farm. Wait, she told herself, he had been raised on a farm. Again she laughed, finding her way to the stairs and up into his bedroom.

She couldn't find any remnants of her clothes, but she did find that he hadn't changed the posters or the little things she had placed there almost a year ago. Then it dawned on her, she hadn't been in his room in so long that she had almost completely forgotten that someone other than herself had occupied it. As she sat on the bed, she looked around more closely, feeling somewhat more at home in the room than at her own at the Talon. Maybe it was the bed or maybe it was the sense of belonging, but it felt awfully right. She shrugged it off as she found one of his old flannel shirts tucked neatly inside a drawer. Unfolding it, she admired the red plaid. She had never told him she liked it, but then again, she knew he somehow knew she did. Stripping off her wet shirt, she tossed it, naturally, into the hamper and put on the flannel. She spied herself in he mirror as she did up the buttons, and tussled her damp hair a little.

Clark walked into his room, only a towel wrapped around his waist. "Lois." Clark said loudly. "I didn't think you'd still be up here." He paused and looked at her as she turned from the mirror. "Admiring the plaid?" he asked with a wide grin.

"No." Lois shot back heatedly. "I was just making sure the buttons were done up correctly.

"Right." Clark said sarcastically, drawing out the middle of the word for emphasis. "Now if you wouldn't mind." He said, letting his words trail off, expecting her to catch his hint.

"Oh. Right." She said, embarrassed that she hadn't exited yet. Making her way to the door, she left the room.

Clark sighed as he let the towel drop to the floor as he wandered to the dresser drawer. He found a pair of jeans and an orange t-shirt. It was still hot, and he probably shouldn't have turned the oven on, but he slipped his clothes on, forgoing any socks. His mother always told him his extremities were the gateway to temperature change. Maybe if he went without socks, he would stay just a little cooler. Finishing his dressing, he realized that he had forgotten to put any boxers on. Too late he thought to himself. The jeans were going to be a struggle getting off, as they were already clinging to his still sticky body. He carefully did up the zipper, making sure not to break it if he accidentally hit himself while doing it up.

He finished and went back downstairs, only to find Lois rummaging through the fridge for something. "What are you looking for?" He asked softly.

"Soda." She exclaimed.

Clark could hear her moving around jars and the like, all in pursuit of something sugary. "Try the bottom crisper. Sometimes mom leaves a few down there."

Lois pulled out the crisper and exhaled in delight. "Thanks." She said quickly, her eyes hungrily craving the cola. She snapped it open and took a deep chug. "Ahh." She released a pleased gasp. She put her hand over her mouth as she let out a sudden burp.

Clark laughed loudly at her sudden release of gas. His laughter seemed to annoy her, and he wouldn't risk a remark, it would have only angered her more. He realized she was looking at him weirdly. "What?" he asked.

"Don't you have something flip to say?" She asked, another little burp coming out. She put her hand to her mouth and set the drink down so that she could pound her chest a little with her other.

"Nope." He replied, taking the chicken out of the fridge as he had pushed past her and opened the fridge. "I know I said fried chicken, but is Shake N' Bake alright?" He put the pan of wings on the counter.

"Anything is fine unless I'm not cooking." She said with a smile.

"I'll agree." He said, shooting out a grin from the side of his mouth. He felt her punch his shoulder softly. "I'll take that as your rebuttal?" He laughed.

"You know it is."

He bobbed his head up and down in mirth. "Just let me batter these bad boys up. Why not watch something on TV. I'll join you in the living room as soon as I'm done here. That's unless you want vegetables and potatoes too?" He asked her seriously.

"No, just chicken is fine." She replied. "Just make sure to put enough in there though. I wouldn't want you to starve now would I?" She laughed as she moved from the kitchen and plopped herself on the couch in the living room.

Clark dipped each leg into water, and then into the batter. He carefully did it to about twelve legs as he set them on the tinfoil resting in the frying pan. Finishing his task, he slipped the pan in the now heated oven. He had entertained the idea of cooking the chicken with his heat vision, but he instantly thought against it. Lois would have become more than a little skeptical when her chicken was cooked in nearly three minutes.

Sighing only slightly, he closed the oven door and rested his hands on the top of the oven. It was another Friday night, but at least he had Lois to keep him company. "Some company." He laughed to himself.

"What was that?" Lois asked from her perch on the couch.

"Nothing." He replied, turning on the timer as he realized he had spoken too loud. He made his way over to the living room, still upset about the heat. "It is this hot in your apartment too?" He asked, walking to the closet.

"Hotter." Lois replied with grunt. "The windows of the place are all facing the alley, meaning no breeze for poor old me."

"Old?" Clark gaffed, pulling out a fan from the closet. "I wouldn't say old Lois, just older, than me of course." He smiled as brought the large fan and set it on the coffee able. He found the cord and plugged it into the power bar that housed all the other connections for the TV and DVD player.

"You're a godsend." Lois exclaimed, as she felt the air hit her face full on. She closed her eyes in delight.

He pushed in the tab to make sure that the fan would rotate back and forth. "I'll put it on rotate right now, but I'll keep it quick so that neither of us goes without some air for too long."

She nodded, still smiling as she continued to enjoy the pleasant air.

With her eyes still closed, he breathed softly down into the path of the fan. He could see little ice crystals move towards Lois as the air from the fan hardened the moisture.

Lois shivered unexpectedly, her eyes snapping open. "What was that?" She asked, watching Clark sit down beside her.

"What was what?"

"That sudden chill, was that you?" When he gave her one of the weirdest looks she had ever seen, she dropped her inquisition. He was still giving her a weird look though, so she just said something random. "It was nice." She went back to flipping through the channels.

Clark couldn't hide the sly grin that was creeping quickly onto his face.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lois flipped onto a sports show to see if he was actually sleeping. It hadn't been two minutes since he had sat down before he was blissfully carried off into the dream world. She could tell by the soft upturn of his lips that his dream was indeed a good one. She had inklings about messing with his dream, much like she did with her cousin when she spent the night with her, but she thought against it. She would let him sleep until he regained some of the rest he was probably lacking.

The minutes rolled by as she leaned her head on her knuckles, her elbow propped up on the arm of the couch. The buzzer for the stove rang loudly, but she didn't feel like getting out of her spot. The cool breeze of the fan was enough to keep her rooted in her comfortable position. It seemed loud enough to finally wake Clark though. "Dinner is ready Smallville." She chuckled, watching him open his eyes and turn his groggy head towards her.

"What's that?" He asked, trying to focus his eyes to see who was beside him. His memory registered the person before his eyes could, and he got to his feet slowly. "Yes Lois, give me a moment and I'll have your food." He walked sleepily over to the oven and opened it. Not thinking before he acted, he grabbed the pan and set it on top of the stove. He realized a second later that he wasn't using oven mitts, and he was more than glad Lois was keenly watching television. Grabbing two plates, he rubbed the rest of the sleep out of his eyes as he set six pieces on each dish.

Lois could smell the chicken from her sitting spot. She turned to ask if the chicken was done yet, but she was pleasantly surprised as he was right behind her, leaning over and handing her a plate. "Thanks." She mumbled.

Clark grunted back an in-auditory word and sat himself back down heavily. "I'm sorry I dozed off like that." He said a second later, his nose filling with the smell of chicken. Looking to see if she had heard him, he smiled as he saw her carefully picking off the crispy skin and plucking it into her mouth. He chuckled softly at the sight.

"What?" Lois asked sheepishly, her eyes going to him as he slid a finger out her mouth, savoring the taste of the skin.

"Nothing." Clark responded, grabbing a leg and biting into it. He savored the taste as he let a drip of grease run down his chin. "Better than yours?" He asked playfully, grabbing a napkin off his lap and wiping his chin clean.

"Mmm hmm." She responded, her mouth full of more skin. She loved it in fact. "Almost as good as your moms, but I'd rather eat hers."

"Me too, but this will have to do." He replied, taking another large bite as he watched the television. The five o'clock news had come on, and he reached over to the remote lying on the sofa, and hit the volume button a few times. He continued to devour his food as he paid close attention to the agricultural report.

Lois looked at the screen, then at Clark. She couldn't believe how intently he was watching the television. His eyes seemed absolutely transfixed with everything in front of him, as if every word was a matter of life or death. "Smallville?" She asked quietly.

Clark acknowledged her without looking, grabbing a napkin and handing it to her without thinking.

She smiled fondly as he seemed to realize just what she wanted. Her eyes lingered on him for a few more seconds, until the farm report was over and he seemed to visibly relax. "You were a little transfixed there." She said with a curt laugh.

"I needed to know if I could get first cut off by next weekend. The farm report is the only segment that shows a ten day weather forecast." He dropped a bare bone to the plate and grabbed another piece. "Plus, it never hurts to know the market prices. We still have some corn in the grain silos just outside of town. I'm trying to find the best time to sell it. The market has been down lately, so naturally, I'm hoping it will go back up. It's been a soggy spring for the farmers up in Canada; some of them still don't have their corn in the ground yet. I might dabble in the futures market too, since it's looking promising."

Lois frowned at what he was talking about. It made absolutely no sense to her, as she had no idea of how anything farm related worked. "I'm not a farmer Smallville, I don't understand what you're talking about."

Clark nodded. "I know, but a lot of it is business, and not farming. You have to know how to be patient and pick you spots when it comes to selling crops."

"Once again you've lost me." She said in defeat, nibbling on a piece of chicken.

He looked over and gave her a weak smile. "Don't worry, this isn't something you'll ever need to worry about, so you don't have to feign interest. You can change the channel anytime you want."

Lois smirked broadly as she picked up the remote and sifted through the channels. Her flipping was probably driving him up the wall, but from what she could see, he wasn't showing anything but hunger. He had half his food down as she just finished her first piece. Realizing that she had been watching him more than she had been eating, she tore her gaze away, finding herself newly engrossed in her own platter.

"Does your mom know about these markets?" She asked through a mouthful of food.

Clark nodded and swallowed his mouthful. "She does, but not a whole lot. Dad used to run all the crops and such, along with chores and so on, but mom handled the finances."

Lois looked at him and how easily the words flowed out his mouth. He may not have realized, but she did, that he had talked about his father without becoming sad. Maybe it was acceptance, she couldn't tell, but it was nice to see him not sulking for a change. His father had indeed taught him everything he knew. Clark's knack for farming was second only to his. "Are you happy?"

He stopped chewing and looked over at her with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Are you happy with living here and taking over the farm?"

Clark shrugged. "You don't see me moping about it do you?"

"The early mornings, the constant need to be close to home, the lack of a vacation, it doesn't bother you?" She found it strange that he could live a life that was so secluded and peaceful. She needed brash, interesting, and most of all, exciting things in her life.

"Should it?" He asked, finishing off another piece of chicken.

"Yes!" Lois exclaimed loudly.

"Why?"

"Because, you're missing out on life Smallville. This whole world is meant to be explored. There are so many opportunities out there for you to leave this place and find your own identity." She was frustrated with his lackadaisical attitude. "I don't know how you can sit here and be content about farming; I thought you had goals, aspirations."

Clark felt hurt at her words. He refrained from exploding in front of her. He calmly rubbed a hand through his hair as he began to eat his chicken again.

Lois could tell he was on the verge of getting up and leaving. Her words seemed to bite into him with no hint of sincerity. She wasn't finished just yet though, she was going to make sure he understood her completely. "I mean, damnit Smallville, there is nothing special about being a farmer." That cut it; she could see his jaw clench tightly, the veins in his forehead pop out in anger. She instantly knew she had gone too far.

He didn't even bother to look at her, if he had; he would have likely set her on fire. His jaw ground back in forth, his teeth scraping loudly. "Why don't you tell that to my dad?" He retorted loudly, getting up and dropping his plate silently on the coffee table. With a few strides, he was out the door in a fit of anger.

Lois watched as he crashed his way through the front door, grabbing the truck keys off the counter in one quick motion. As she sat staring at the door as it came crashing back into place, she felt her resolve go with it. She broke down, her eyes watering as she kicked herself over and over for being such an idiot. She had just insulted his deceased father. That was by far the worst thing she had ever done, and it more than likely ruined any sort of friendship they might have rediscovered. Setting her plate on the coffee table, she punched the sofa as hard as she could, her knuckles bouncing harmlessly off the cushion. "Damn it!" She screamed in frustration, her tears falling freely as she laid sprawled out on the couch.

It was supposed to be a quiet night, just like the many they had shared when she had moved in not so many years ago. But no, she had to ruin it by opening her big stupid mouth and talking without thinking first. It killed her think what he might do with such anger, she had seen him angry before. He almost killed a man with the anger he had shown, Alicia's murderer to be exact, and now he looked even angrier. She clutched a pillow to her chest as she sobbed loudly, her eyes drenching it. This was the low point of her existence, a moment that she knew she would loath for the rest of her life. She cried herself into the pillow until she was too exhausted to stay awake. Her eyes closed and she drifted off into an unsettled sleep.

-

She woke with a start, her eyes sore and dry. Blinking a few times, trying to regain some moisture in them, she clutched harder to the pillow. The house was dark, night having settled. Her eyes glanced at the television, but there was only a cooking show on. The station had been left exactly where she had saw it last. She knew instantly that Clark hadn't come home yet. A tear should have fell, but she was surprising out of them. The last time she had ever cried like that was when her mother had died, and it didn't help matters that she felt awful knowing that she was the cause of all her own guilt and pain. Biting the pillow in renewed frustration, she sat up straight and took two deep breaths. It was probably best that she got heading home, just in case he came home. She was more than sure she was the last thing he would want to see.

The yard light was clearly visible as she looked out the door and slipped her shoes on. She could also see the truck. That meant he was home. She slipped on her last sandal and looked to the barn. There were no lights coming from the loft or anywhere else. She sighed heavily as she spied the clock, it being near nine. The sky was still a little blue, but it was quickly darkening as she walked out of the house. Stopping on the edge of the porch, right in front of the steps, she took a deep breath of the crisp night air. There was no humidity, the heat and stickiness replaced with a cool night breeze.

"Nice isn't it?"

Lois turned around suddenly, seeing Clark sitting on the porch swing, his legs placed perfectly on the ground as he made no motion to swing. His eyes were stuck on the now vacant sunset, his hands clasp neatly together on his lap. He looked like a statue, his eyes and mouth unmoving as he stared blankly to the west. She didn't know what to do, her legs refusing to work, along with her mouth. He had spoken first, but she wasn't sure if she should say anything in return. Without so much as a squeak, she moved over to the swing and sat down on the opposite side, a full body width apart from him.

She glanced over at him nervously, expecting him to look at her finally, but he didn't. His gaze was frozen on something in the distance. It was cold, as if someone had stolen the innocence right out of him. Instead of the simple farm boy she knew, she saw a statuesque man, his arms powerfully bent at the elbows. Still unable to think of anything to say, she sat there with him in silence. She had the urge to run, but she held herself in check, her feet dangling off the swing. The silence was deafening. She tried to push the swing back and forth, but his feet planted firmly on the porch kept it from moving. Tears threatened to fall once again as the silence began to speak volumes to her. She had finally pushed too hard, and it was more than likely the end of everything between them. There was some sense of hope though, he seemed to let her sit there, and it didn't seem to be bothering him.

A few more minutes passed as the crickets made their way out into the now completely dark sky. The breeze was still pleasant, the temperature remaining steadfast. It would have seemed like a perfect evening, if only she hadn't screwed it up. The chirping of the crickets began to intensify as she couldn't think of anything else to listen to. She struggled with whether or not to say anything, but the increasing noise of the crickets made her come to the answer very quickly. "I'm sorry." She said softly, unable to look at him, wrapping her arms around herself in a silent shiver. It wouldn't have taken as long to say so if he didn't seemed so cold and unapproachable.

"I know." Clark replied.

Lois registered his emotionless voice as a bad thing, but she said it again. "I'm sorry Clark, I didn't mean it." Her voice was cracking, full of remorse and emotion.

"I know." Clark said again.

She couldn't take it anymore, and she went to get up. She was suddenly halted by his hand on her forearm. Not knowing what to do, she stared over at him. He was still looking forward, not even acknowledging her presence, except with his hand. "I said I was sorry Clark, I don't know what else to say."

Clark grabbed her arm a little tighter, nodding his head slowly. He gently pulled her towards him, his arms turning her face to him as he enveloped her in a large hug.

She draped her arms around his neck as she buried her face into his shoulder. She was sitting half on the swing, and half on his lap, but it didn't matter. If he wanted to hold her, she was more than content to oblige. "I'm so sorry." She cried softly, newfound tears falling lightly on his shoulder, creating a wet spot on his shirt.

"I know Lois, but its okay." He cradled her in his arms as she continued to sob on his shoulder. There was so much emotion coming of her he could have sworn that it was glowing in the moonlight. Stroking her long hair softly, he whispered calmly into her ear. "Don't worry Lois; nothing could come between our friendship; it is not something I am willing to just throw away so easily."

Lois smiled through her tears, her heartbeat lessoning its rate instantly. "Me either." She said with a weak voice, her stomach losing its gnawing feeling. She felt defeated for the first time in her life. He was hurt, more hurt that she had ever seen him, but all he did was simply hold her like he wouldn't let go. Maybe she was the only person close enough to comfort him, but for some reason she felt as if it was for her benefit, not only his. She needed it, and for the first time in her life she had let her walls fall and crumble in front of someone. His had been down for almost ten minutes, showing how empty his life truly was without people who cared for him.

At that moment she knew that he would always need her, and she would always need him. They made each other feel close, as if being apart caused each of them excruciating pain. She didn't feel alone anymore, and she could tell by his tender embrace, he felt the same way. He meant the world to her, almost as much as Chloe did. She had taken his feelings for granted, verbally abused him and yet there they sat, him holding her like a child.

Clark shifted his weight, lifting her easily. He slipped his legs onto the swing, stretching them out the length it. With his back resting up against the porch swing arm, he shifted Lois.

She felt as he easily shifted her so that she was lying more in his lap, her body not touching a single piece of the swing. She used him as her own chair, shifting her body just a little so that her left side leaned forward. Her head dropped instinctively to his chest, her right ear placed right over his heart. She stared out to he sky once again, the pain in her gut turning to peace as she felt her head move back and forth with every single one of his breaths.

The moment was now perfect. Granted, they had some talking to do, but it could wait for later.

"Lois"

Or maybe it couldn't. "Yes?" She asked softly.

He could hear the serenity in her voice, the pure joy of the situation. There was a hint of annoyance though, as if he shouldn't be talking. "I'm sorry I left abruptly, I know I have should have stayed and said something."

She couldn't help but smile in his embrace. It was so like him. "I was the one who hurt you Clark, and I'm the one who should be apologizing, not you. You have nothing to apologize for."

"I do." He responded quietly. "I've spent my whole life running from my emotions, letting them rule my life. When my dad died, I shut out everyone around me, even my own mother. It hurt her, it hurt me, and I know that's not what he would have wanted. In some ways his death had opened my eyes up to so much more around me. It has put into perspective what's most important in my life, my mom, and my friends."

"It's understandable Clark, when tragedy strikes; we can't help but feel weak and powerless. In those times of weakness we sometimes forget what we really need. When my mom died, my father completely ignored us. Sure, he was there, but he never talked to us about her death, nor did he ever mention her until we were very grown up, and by then we had already begun to completely ignore him. He distanced himself, leaving us alone. I don't want that to happen to us Smallville, I don't want to ever lose the bond that we share."

"We won't Lois. I promise." He rested his chin on the top of her head, the crickets filling his ears as he looked down upon her. She seemed more than comfortable, cuddled to him instinctively. It was a moment he would never forget, something that would be embedded in his mind until the end of time.

Their impending silence was interrupted by a sudden ringing of the phone. Lois made no motion to move, but Clark did. When she realized she would have to get off of him anyways, she moved herself and got to her feet. Walking back into the house, she picked up the phone. "Hello?" She smiled at the voice at the other end.

"_Lois, it's good to hear your voice. I take it you're keeping Clark company?" _

"Yes." She replied with a smile, walking back out the door and sitting beside Clark. Swinging her feet back and forth, as she leaned into him for warmth, she continued. "We're just enjoying the fresh air."

"_I'm glad to hear that you're taking advantage of such a beautiful evening. May I speak to Clark please?" _

"Sure." Lois replied. She held the phone out in her left hand.

Clark reached over with his right and put it to his ear. "Hi mom." He said softly.

"_How are you doing sweetie, how was your day?" _

"It was eventful, but nothing really surprising happened." He looked down at Lois, who was smiling widely at his comment.

"_What did you make for supper? I left some chicken in the fridge." _

"I was planning on just having a sandwich, but Lois showed up with her report for you and she stayed, so I used the chicken like you suggested this morning."

"_That's good. You shouldn't be eating just a sandwich for dinner." _

Clark laughed a little. "I know mom, but sometimes it's just easier."

"_Whether it's easier or not is not relevant Clark, you're a growing young man, you need a hearty meal." _

He could tell she was laying her motherly guilt on very thick. "I promise I won't think like that again. I'll make sure that I always prepare dinner for myself when you're not here."

"_That's what I was waiting for you to say." She said sweetly. "I'm going to be in Metropolis for another night, there are a lot of meetings Lionel and I have to get to, and coming home would be too taxing." _

"I understand." He said with a little sadness creeping into his voice. "Enjoy yourself as much as you can."

"_I will sweetie. Goodnight." _

"Goodnight" He replied, taking the phone from his ear and pushing the end button. Setting the cordless phone on the window sill behind the swing, he squeezed Lois tightly to himself.

"What did she have to say?" Lois asked.

"She said that she's not going to be home tomorrow. She will likely be staying over another night."

Lois sighed. "You miss her don't you?"

"It's that obvious huh?" He asked with a smile. "I guess you could say those apron strings haven't been quite cut yet."

"That's sweet." She said tenderly, her eyes drifting back out to the night sky. The stars shone brightly, even more brightly then they had before. It must have been the luster of the moon, but for some reason they glowed with a burning intensity that she had never seen before. "What time do I have to tuck you in?" She asked with a small laugh, bringing their friendly banter back into the fold.

Clark frowned as he looked down at her. Her head was still nestled tightly in the crook of his arm. "I don't know, probably not for a while. I took a nap earlier if you remember. I should be okay for a while." He looked out the sky with her. "Are you staying over?"

"I don't want to kick you to the couch." She said sincerely. After everything she had done, she at least owed him that much.

"You can take my mom's bed; I'll take my own." He paused for second, but gave her a tight smile. "That's unless you want my bed, then I will sleep on the couch just for old times sake?"

Lois laughed at him. "No Smallville, I'll sleep in your moms bed, you can have yours for the night."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Clark woke up as he heard the phone ring. Turning over, he looked at his alarm clock. It was two in the morning. Who would be calling at two in the morning? With sleep still dominating his head, he got out of bed and walked to his mom's room. There was a phone in there, and Lois more than likely had picked it up. He walked to the door and went through. Lois was talking into the phone without much emotion, her eyes still closed. "Lois, who is it?" He asked, walking up beside the bed.

"Metropolis Police." She said, handing him the phone and resting her head back on her pillow.

Clark nodded, took the phone and exited the bedroom. He didn't want to keep her awake by talking in the room. They were at a good place at the moment. The night on the swing had been perfect, something they both needed after the problems of earlier in the evening. There hadn't been much conversation, and there didn't need to be any. Stepping out into the hallway, he put the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"_Clark Kent?"_

"Yes."

"_I'm sorry to inform you..."_

_-_

Lois awoke with her arms tucked neatly under the covers, pulling them to her chin. She smiled to herself as she let go and stretched out on the large bed. It was weird; she would have never thought another bed could be quite as comfortable as Clark's. Lifting the covers, she slipped out and found a pair of slippers. She had found a pair of Martha's pajamas the night before, a silky pair actually. They were comfortable, but felt a little strange, the silk not feeling quite like Clark's trademark cotton. Again Clark raided her thoughts. "Damn him." She laughed to herself. The farm boy was even invading her early morning ponderings.

The clock said nine as she walked from the bedroom, down the stairs and into the kitchen. There was no coffee brewing, no morning paper on the island counter. Usually Clark had both things sitting, waiting, when she was over. Frowning, she looked to the living room, but didn't see anything out of place. The truck was missing from the driveway as she looked out the window. Thinking he might have gone into town for something, she moved to the coffee maker and flipped it on. She couldn't care less about putting in a new filter; she was craving it too much.

As her eyes drifted from the coffee maker, she saw something she couldn't quite believe. She darted out onto the front porch, her feet sliding her to a halt as she stood in complete shock. The truck, Clark' truck, was sitting in the roof of the barn. It was wedged like a tee in turf, its back end sticking out. "What the hell?" She said with bewilderment.

Her eyes were ripped from the scene as she saw her cousin's car come up the driveway. Her vision drifted back and forth between the two objects as she tried to fully comprehend what she was seeing. She finally settled her gaze on her cousin as she watched Chloe exit her car, her eyes all puffy and red. "Chloe, what's wrong?" She asked, stepping down the steps and onto the lawn, her concern for her cousin more important at the moment.

"You don't know?" She asked Lois, fresh tears escaping her eyes.

"Know what?" Lois responded. She was getting incredibly worried.

"Did Clark not tell you?"

"Did Clark tell me what?" Lois fumed, grabbing her cousin's arms. "What is it Chloe, what happened."

"There was an accident." Chloe said softly, her tears choking her throat shut.

"And?" Lois said with a terrified voice. She didn't like where Chloe was going.

"Martha was in an accident in Metropolis."

Lois felt her knees go weak as she tried mightily to stiffen her resolve. "Is she okay?" She asked, tears forming in her eyes. When Chloe shook her head, she let the tears fall down her cheeks. "Is she-." She couldn't say the words, they were impossible to get out. When her cousin nodded her head again, she fell to the earth, her knees hitting the ground with a thud.

Chloe got down on her knees with her and cried. They held onto each other for dear life, both hoping and expecting it was all to be nothing more than a horrible dream, but as the minutes passed, Lois knew it wasn't. The heat of the day didn't seem to help their sorrow, each ray of sun seemed to burn right through her as she clutched to Chloe, crying harder and harder. "Where's Clark?" She asked weakly, still holding her cousin as she got them to their feet. She needed to be strong for him, make him know that she was there.

Chloe wiped her eyes and tried desperately to control her ragged breathing. "I don't know. I thought he was here?" She said, wiping the rest of her tears away.

Lois tried to piece together where he might be. Her mind kept screaming back to one place. She disengaged herself from Chloe and ran into the house. She slipped on her shoes and darted back out, Chloe following after. She made haste towards the loft. She could hear Chloe's gasp as she was sure that she had seen the truck sitting in the barn roof. Luckily it wasn't the same barn as the loft, but something in the back of her mind was curious beyond belief.

As she entered the loft, she went to dart up the stairs, but her arm was caught suddenly.

Chloe held onto Lois's sleeve, making them both come to a halt. "Lois, I'm going up there first." When her cousin was about to yell at her, she closed her mouth with her hand. "No arguing Lois, this is for my safety and your own."

Lois didn't complain, her heart wasn't in it. She was still grieving for Mrs. Kent, her emotions still too strong to turn anger towards her cousin. "Okay." She said finally, her eyes brimming with tears as she sat on the bottom step.

Her cousin never showed such emotion, but she knew what they had both lost, a mother. Not only was Mrs. Kent Clark's mom, she was both their mom too. She was the only womanly presence in their life that they could count on. Now she was gone. Tears began to stream down her cheeks again as she made the slow and grueling walk up the stairs. She could hear Lois sobbing at the bottom as she neared the top, unsure of what she was going to find.

Lois sat with her head buried deep in her hands as she cried. It couldn't be real she told herself. Martha Kent wasn't allowed to die. A woman like that deserved to share her wisdom and love with the world, and she had just started doing that. Now she was gone, ripped from their lives like a band-aid from a wound.

She heard a footstep in front of her, and she looked up. Clark wasn't in the loft; he was walking through the shed doors with a wheelbarrow in stride. He was pushing it like it was no big deal. She was about to yell up for Chloe, but she froze as she saw the look on his face. Instead of tears and red eyes, there was nothing but coldness. They were shallow, un-forbidding orbs of blue that seemed to stare ahead blankly, without life. She stood instinctively, but didn't bother even moving, her eyes stuck on his catatonic face. He didn't even look at her as he walked past with the wheelbarrow. "Clark?" Lois called out with a shaky voice.

He didn't register her presence, his head just disappearing into a small stall in the back corner.

Lois called for Chloe, who came lumbering down the stairs a second later.

"He's not up here." She said with broken voice.

"I know." Lois replied, her face nearly as stone clad as Clark's. Her tears had run out, and now all she felt was an emptiness that threatened to last forever. "He's in the corner over there." She said quietly, pointing for her cousin.

Chloe looked to the corner and saw Clark working, his head just above a few sacks of grain. She pulled Lois along with her as she approached him silently. Her mind screamed at her to stay away, but he needed both Lois and her, no matter how he was feeling.

As they rounded the pile of grain, they both stopped and watched him for a second.

Clark grabbed the fork out of the wheelbarrow and resumed his work. He started the grinder and sharpened each fork with perfect precision.

Lois couldn't help but feel her resolve breaking down again. The sight of him going about his regular chores and being completely complacent about it was almost too much for her to handle. She couldn't begin to imagine what he was going through, and even she knew that holding in emotions such as the powerful ones she had at the moment, was not good in the least. She hesitated to say anything. Even her cousin looked scared at the picture in front of them. "Smallville?" She asked again, using his nickname to see if he might respond to that. He turned to her, and her hopes rose, but he just looked past them both and walked by. Her heart sunk into the pit of her stomach as she turned and watched him walk to the pile of grain.

Clark grabbed an eighty pound sack of grain in each hand and dropped them into the wheelbarrow.

She almost lost her sight as she blinked in amazement. He had just lifted two bags of grain like they were kittens. A normal man would have struggled with just one, but he showed no strain, his face was still completely cold and lifeless. She could feel Chloe's hand grip her arm in fright, and she instinctively wrapped her arm around her. She needed to be the protector, the strong one. Clearing her throat in an attempt to make sense of what she had just seen, she watched as Clark exited the barn with the wheelbarrow pushing in front of him.

They stood there for more than a couple minutes, unable to move, both their eyes brimming with moisture. Lois didn't know what hurt more, the loss of Martha, or the fact that Clark didn't seem able to grieve.

A black limousine pulled up to them as they exited the barn.

Lionel exited the vehicle, his trademark black trench coat missing. He had a pair of black slacks on, suspenders, and a white dress shirt. His tie hung sloppily from his neck as he walked towards them. Lois couldn't help but see the redness in his eyes. She wouldn't have thought a Luthor had human emotions, but she could tell the man had lost a very good friend, if not someone he had cared deeply for.

"Lois, Chloe." Lionel said in a soft tone. "Have you seen Clark?"

Chloe struggled for her words, but she managed to get them out. "Yes, he's doing chores."

"What?" Lionel asked, surprised. "I told the boy that I would take of everything."

Lois shrugged as they all stood by the limousine doors. "I don't know, but he's seems dead, his eyes are so cold I thought he might freeze me should he look right at me."

Chloe agreed with her cousin. "He's just wandering around as if everything is the same as normal."

Lionel rubbed a shaky hand through his long hair. "Did you try talking to him?"

"A couple times." Lois replied, rubbing her arms in discomfort. It was another hot morning, but everything around her seemed bone chillingly cold.

"Where is he now?" His answer was given in the form of the young man, who was walking from the dairy barn. He glanced at the young man and registered what the girls had been talking about. He hadn't even noticed the truck in the barn roof until he saw Clark walking towards them. As his eyes looked from the truck back to Clark, his throat tightened. Lois was right, Clark looked lifeless, his eyes dead and cold. "Clark, son, how are you holding up."

Clark walked up and stopped in front of them. "I'm fine. I 'm guessing you came by to tell me everything has been arranged?" He asked coldly.

Lois felt the incredible need to wrap her arms around him, but the emotionless voice he had spoken with told her he would welcome no such tenderness. He was locking everything away, making sure he wouldn't allow himself to get hurt anymore. She had done it her whole life too, and the night before was the first time she had really opened that box back up. It felt great, relieving in fact, and she knew he'd have to come to accept his mother's death or he would wallow away in self pity and pain.

"Yes, everything has been arranged Clark." Lionel said. "Tomorrow will be the visitation, and on Monday the funeral will be held."

Clark nodded, his eyes betraying no hint of emotion. "Did you do as I asked?"

Lionel looked at the young man and nodded. "Yes, I've made sure there will be no media coverage."

"Good." Clark replied, moving past them all and walking towards the house.

Lionel sighed heavily as he squeezed his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. "That wasn't good." He said with a groan.

"What do you mean?" Lois asked.

"The way he's acting. The longer he holds his emotions back, the more difficult he will find it to move pass them. You girls are going to have to find a way to get him to accept this; otherwise we have no idea what he might do. I'm sure you agree Miss Sullivan?"

Chloe bobbed her head in agreement, not really sure if her mouth would have worked.

"What exactly happened?" Lois asked with a shaky voice.

Lionel struggled to straighten himself, but he finally managed to hold back the pain of losing such a wonderful friend. "She was on her way back to her hotel room when she was hit from the side by a pickup truck."

"Was anyone else hurt?"

"Yes, the driver of the limo was seriously injured."

"And the driver of the truck?"

"He has been detained by the police. He suffered only minor injuries though. The police have said that his blood alcohol level was through the roof." Lionel sighed heavily.

Lois nodded glumly. "I hope the man gets the justice he deserves."

"Don't worry Miss Lane. I intend to make sure he gets what's coming to him. No one kills those close to me without some form of retribution. I'll make sure the law does the right thing and punish him severely."

"Thank you." She said finally.

"Now, Miss Sullivan and I have a private matter to discuss. Why don't you go and check up on Clark." Lionel said in a hurry.

Lois looked at him strangely, then at the truck in the roof. "Okay." She turned to her cousin and looked into her wet eyes. "I can stay if you want?" She said softly.

"No Lois, you go check on Clark." She replied with a weak smile.

Lois left them and headed for the house, a tingling sensation at the back of her neck telling her they were discussing something about Clark, something she wasn't allowed to be privy about. Normally she would have dug her claws in and demanded answers, but it was definitely not the time for that. Clark needed her, and she would focus solely on him as she and everyone else would try to get through the next couple of days. She knew what it was like to lose both parents. She had lost her mother, her world, and that same day she had also lost her father. He was still alive, but he was in no way a real father.

She pushed open the front door and saw Clark sitting at the island counter, his head dipped into the newspaper as he drank from a coffee mug. It was hot, and she was sweating, but for some reason Clark was completely dry. Not even his brow had perspiration on it. She found that incredibly strange since he had been sweating the day before. "Clark?" She asked, walking up the counter and pouring her own cup. She knew she would have to attack him cautiously, she wouldn't push him.

"Yeah Lois?" Clark asked, bending the paper back and looking at her.

She was caught in his icy gaze, and it made her stomach turn. It was so cold. "Are you okay?" She asked tenderly, trying not to distance herself too much if she had asked the wrong question. Either he would answer, or just ignore her. Either reaction would be a bad one, but if he ignored her, that meant he was allowing himself to feel pain.

"I'm fine." Clark replied, taking another drink. "Why do you ask?"

Lois couldn't believe he had just said that. Her eyes began to water as she tried to get past the emotion of losing a second mother, and seeing her friend in so much pain. "You're mother just died Clark, how can you be fine?" It came out heatedly, but he seemed to brush it aside.

"People die Lois, that's the nature of life."

"She was you mother Clark, your mother!" Her tears were falling a second later.

"Family die too." He said with a strong voice.

Lois almost went up and hit him for being such a jerk, but she restrained herself. If he couldn't accept it yet, she would wait until he could. It hurt though, it hurt her so much not to see the only son of the woman she loved like a mother show no emotion. "I hope you can come to accept it Clark, I don't think I could stand being around you if you keep acting like this."

"That's probably for the best." He said casually, turning the page over.

Lois set the cup aside, ran up the stairs and locked herself inside Martha's room. She buried her head in a pillow and cried like a little girl, her insides tearing apart with each racking sob.

-

Chloe felt herself get wrapped up into a hug. The day she thought she'd be hugging a Luthor was the day she found a gateway to a parallel universe. She didn't fight Lionel's warm embrace though, he was genuinely in a state of unrest, along with her and Lois, and human contact always had a way of calming her down.

"Remember Miss. Sullivan, make sure there is someone here with him at all times. Reporters and television crews will come poking around here when they realize that they've been court ordered to stay away from the funeral." He let her out of his arms and held her by the shoulders. "Tell him to get the truck out of the roof too." He said with a weird smile.

Chloe couldn't help but smile back just a little. Even in mourning, they could still find some solace in the fact that they had people around that supported each other. "I will Mr. Luthor. When will you be back?"

"I don't know, there are a lot of things that must be done between now and tomorrow. I'm going to occupy myself with getting everything ready for the visitation."

"Thank you for doing all this for him." She said.

"I'm not only doing this for him, but for all of us. We lost a wonderful woman today, the whole state greaves for her, not only her family and friends." He stepped back to the door and opened it himself. "Good day Miss. Sullivan." He said politely as he got in and closed the door.

Chloe nodded solemnly as she watched the limo turn around in the drive way and disappear from view. Lionel was a good man, a man no one had trusted, but he had shown his worth over the past few months. Plus, Martha had trusted him, and that combined with the fact that he guarded Clark's secret with the same repose as her, it now made him more than trustworthy.

She sighed heavily as she wiped away more tears. Her cousin was probably having trouble with Clark, and Lionel had said some things that she needed to tell Clark about too. With her hand in her pockets, her thumbs sticking out though, she walked towards the yellow house.

It felt weird, and sad, knowing that she would never enter the same house again and be met by a smiling Mrs. Kent. Those days were now over, and Clark had a lot of decisions to make. Would he sell the farm? Would he keep farming? They were all choices that she knew would be answered later, but they couldn't be avoided. Knowing Clark, he would likely avoid it like the plague. She trudged up the steps and walked into the house. Clark was sitting at the counter, reading the paper. "Clark, where's Lois."

"Upstairs." He said, never taking his eyes off the paper.

"What happened?"

He shrugged. "She was yelling at me and then she started crying. Don't know why, but she's holding herself upstairs." He turned the page casually.

Chloe stared at him as he appeared completely unaffected by the death of his mother. Well, unaffected wasn't the word, he had shut down his emotional receptors and become as hard a stone. That was a change, for Clark had always been one to be a slave to his emotions. It didn't take a neurologist to know that Clark Kent would do anything for love. Now it seemed that with all the love he once possessed was completely gone, his dad, mom, and even Lana. He was completely alone, and she knew that was the last thing he had ever wanted. But now it was now a reality, his worst nightmare had come true. She felt sympathy for him, she couldn't even imagine what she would do if she had lost both her parents, and with the weight of the world on his shoulders, she couldn't be surprised with his present state. "Lionel suggested that you get the truck out of the roof of the barn before any reporters or the like start showing up."

"Why would the media show up here?" He asked, still looking at the paper as he finished his mug.

"They're banned from the visitation and the funeral; they're going to want some reaction from you."

Clark shrugged as he set down his mug and folded the paper back up. "Guess I better take the truck down then." He said evenly.

Chloe was more than a little concerned about the way he was acting. "Make sure there aren't any reporters around to watch you."

He nodded as he walked towards the door. "Don't worry, if I find anyone watching me, I'll make sure they don't get a chance to watch anything again."

A chill ran up her spine as she watched him walk out the front door. The threat he had just spoken sounded so emotionless and cold. There was no hint of laughter, but a huge dose of reality. Something told her he would do exactly as he said if he had to. She shivered, goosebumps popping up all over her arms and hands. She quickly rubbed them for comfort as she watched him walk down the porch step and towards the barn. She would have likely watched him remove the truck, but Lois needed her. Not wasting another second, she ascended the stairs and looked into Clark's room. She wasn't there, and she instantly she was in Martha's.

She walked further down the hallway and tapped her knuckles on the door. "Lois?" She asked. When she didn't hear a response, she turned the knob and entered. Her heart sank a she watched Lois, her stronger and more willing cousin, sobbing into a pillow, still dressed in Martha's pajamas. "Lois?" She asked again, her tone of voice soft and caring.

"Yeah?" She replied, lifting her teary eyes from the depths of the wet pillow.

Chloe didn't know what she could ask. There was a numbing feeling that was eating away at her mind. It was dread, but sorrow too, and it hurt worse than anything she had ever felt before. "It's hard, I know, but we'll get through this." She sat on the side of the bed and rubbed her cousin's back reassuringly.

"I know Chloe, but it's so hard to see him like he is. After all that happened last night, I don't think anything worse could have happened to him."

"What are you talking about?" Chloe inquired. What had Lois and Clark done last night?

Lois wiped away her tears and fought to find her voice. "Clark made dinner after I came over to drop off a report for Martha." At the mention of the elder Kent, she coughed a few times as she tried mightily to steel herself. "We were eating on the couch, and I brought up his living situation, asking him specifically if he planned on farming his whole life."

"What else did you say?"

"You always know there is more to it." She laughed through her tears. "He gave me some pretty lackluster answers, as if he could care less, and I went after him pretty strongly." Her crying had stopped, but she was still feeling more horrible than before. "I insulted his decisions to stay around and work on the farm, and then I pretty much disrespected his father by telling him that farming wasn't an honorable profession."

Chloe closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "Lois; that may have been the dumbest thing you have ever said."

"I know." She said, squeezing the pillow in frustration. "We were just getting back to being more comfortable around each other. I couldn't tell you how hard that month was. Every day I had the urge to call him, to tell him that I couldn't take the rift that had formed between us. Of course I was my usual stubborn self, and I allowed him to fix things. That hurt almost as much as the rift itself. The fact that he took the initiative to fix it was proof that I'm a horrible person. Then I go ahead and say something so disrespectful that I thought I'd pushed him away forever."

She could see how torn she was, how absolutely pained her voice sounded. Lois never showed such emotion, but she couldn't blame her for the way she was acting, their lives had just been turned upside down. "What do you mean that you thought you had pushed him away?"

Lois managed a weak smile as she remembered back to the night before. "I was so distraught with the way I had acted, and Clark had stormed out of the house. I don't think I've seen him that angry since Alicia died."

Chloe swallowed forcibly. She remembered that well, Lois had told her many times that she had to keep Clark from killing the man who had murdered Alicia. "Continue." She said.

"Well, I don't think I've ever cried as hard as I did after he left. I don't know why I cried so hard, but all the things that had happened to us were still weighing on me heavily. The Valentine's Day fiasco, the awkwardness, it was all too much."

Chloe rubbed her cousins back again, trying to get her to calm down. Her voice sounded desperate and distraught. "It's okay Lois, Clark and I have had our troubles in the past too, but we always found a way work past them. Clark does not give up on those close to him."

"I know Chloe, and I felt as if I was the one who was always letting him down." She took a tissue from her cousin and blew her nose. "I fell asleep on the couch, both mentally and physically exhausted. I woke up figuring he would be in the loft, but I didn't want to risk seeing him. I'm a coward, I know, but it would have been too much."

"You're not a coward Lois; you're just uncomfortable around him. You have been ever since the situation with the lipstick." Chloe took the tissue back and dropped it in the small trash can.

"No, I am a coward. I went to leave; figuring the last thing he wanted to do was see me." She paused for a second, remembering what had exactly happened after she had decided to leave. It wasn't hard to remember though; it had been a wonderful evening. "I went to leave, but I found him sitting on the porch swing, staring off into the distance. He had the same look as he does now."

"And what's that?"

"Like death. His stare was so cold, so lifeless."

Chloe smiled meekly. "Clark can be very cold sometimes, you know that, but that couldn't have been all."

"It wasn't." She smiled warmly. It freaked her cousin out to say the least.

"Whoa, where did that come from?" Chloe said suddenly. Her cousin's smile looked like it could light up the room.

"I sat down beside Clark." She began, not bothering to answer Chloe's question. "I told him I was sorry, but he just ignored me. I went to leave, but he grabbed my arm and engulfed me in the best hug I have ever had."

"He hugged you?" Chloe asked, surprised. Clark never did such things with Lois. With herself, he had hugged her numerous times, but Lois; she was a different type of person, definitely not the hugging type.

"Yes, he hugged me. It was weird, but it felt so right. I cried in front of him Chloe, for the first time in my life I let someone other than my sister see me break down."

Chloe was speechless.

"I'm not sure how long we held each other, but it was the most relaxing thing I had ever done. He whispered to me that he understood, and that no matter what happened between us, he wouldn't allow anything to come between our friendship." She realized she was still smiling, despite the fact that Martha had just passed away.

She was more than a little surprised at her cousin. "Lois, I know that you try to be strong, and I know that you hate to see yourself as weak, but I'm glad that you are able to let someone in. God knows how both of you need to do that more often."

Lois nodded, losing her smile instantly. "I just wish he would let me in now."

"Me too, but we're going to have to wait this one out. This is uncharted territory. Mrs. Kent was there when Jonathon died, but now that his only emotional lifeline has been ripped away from him, we can't expect him to open up to us in an instant. We may have to wait until he allows himself to feel again."

"I know, but it hurts so much to see him like he is. I've been holding things in for so long Chloe, but last night might have been the best night of my life. It felt as if all my problems just evaporated as he held me in his arms." She wiped away a few tears that had formed. "I just wish I could do the same for him. God knows how badly I just want to hold him and let him cry in my arms. He deserves that so much Chloe, he deserves to know that there are still people in his life that love him."

Chloe couldn't help but drop a few tears in response. Lois was right; Clark needed them; not only to be strong for him, but to be there when he chose to open up. The problem was she had never before seen him like he was now. It scared her, and by the way Lois was acting, it scared her even more.

Lois moved and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm worried Chloe. I'm worried that he will shut himself away, forever. ."

"I know Lois, I'm worried too." She wrapped her arm around her as they both stared blankly at the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The rest of the day had played out roughly. Lois and Chloe had both stayed at the farm to look after the house while Clark kept himself busy out in the barns. Lois had cooked dinner, nothing complicated, just some macaroni. They had eaten in absolute silence, something that drove her crazy.

She knew Clark was still hiding from his emotions, and she almost couldn't take it. She wouldn't have been so bothered about the silence if he had actually been remembering his mother. Of course he wasn't though; he had read a magazine while he ate, completely oblivious to the world around him. It was unsettling when he didn't even take his plate to the dishwasher. He didn't even say thank you when he finished eating, he had simply stood up and walked back outside to the barn.

Lois was in tears again as she stood up and gathered both his and her plates in her hand. She had shed so many tears already, that she didn't realize she had the capacity for more. Looking at her cousin, who had been crying almost all afternoon, she smiled weakly. It was harder on her. She hadn't dealt with the death of someone so close, and she looked to be having trouble coming to terms with it.

"Lois, what are we going to do about tomorrow?"

"What do you mean?" She asked, putting a few plates into the dishwasher.

"I mean." Chloe began. "How are we going to get him to come to the funeral home for the visitation?"

"I don't know, but I'll ask him later."

"Do you think he'll go?"

Lois sighed as she placed the soap in the door and closed it. She turned the dial and the machine began to rumble, the water filling it. "I think so, but I don't expect him to be anymore hospitable than he already is."

"What do we do, do we stand in line with him while everyone comes and shakes his hand?"

"I don't know about you, but I'll be right by his side to make sure he is okay."

"Me too." Chloe said finally.

-

The evening was almost as bad. She and Chloe had sat at the dining room table, putting together a collage of photos. They couldn't stop crying as each photo represented something about the mother they had both lost.

Lois was completely out of tears by the time they were finished. It was near nine, and yet Clark was still outside. She was perplexed by the fact that the truck was not in the roof anymore. In fact, the heap of scrap metal was lying in the driveway, and the hole in the roof already patched up. She had asked Chloe about it, but she didn't receive a straight answer. Frustrated, she had given up in a huff, telling her cousin that she needed to make a board covered with pictures.

It wasn't ten minutes later that Chloe had joined her at the dining room table. And as they finished up, they couldn't help but feel and incredible amount pain at the scene before them. The pictures were almost all the ones they could find. They came out of frames, picture books, and even photo albums. Most of the pictures consisted of mainly Clark, Jonathon and Martha, but there were a few with both of them in the mix. They tried to keep pictures of themselves out of the board as much as possible, but they knew that Martha would have wanted their photos on there too.

"Lois, this is the most depressing thing I have ever done." Chloe said with a groan, snapping the glue bottle shut.

"Me too, but it had to be done."

"What about the will? Clark will have to meet with the lawyers and discuss everything."

Lois tightened up her own glue cap and stood up, making her way to the kitchen drawer to put it away. "Lionel will take care of it. He called earlier to make sure everything was going smoothly. Everything is left to Clark, so it's not a complicated piece of legality."

Chloe moved to the kitchen and put away her supplies. "Did he happen to mention the visitation hours?"

"Two in the afternoon until four, and then again from seven to nine." The words came out more evenly than she thought they would. Maybe she was coming to acceptance sooner than she thought she could.

"What about the funeral itself?" Chloe asked, closing the drawer and following Lois into the living room.

Lois sat down on the couch and rested her weary head on her hand. "I don't know yet. Lionel said he would fill us in on everything else come tomorrow." She was exhausted. She had spent the whole day mourning, crying, and most of all feeling alone and scared. Sure, her cousin was there, but Clark wasn't, and that made her upset. He was the one person that could always make her feel good, and now that he wasn't even allowing himself to feel anything, it made it all that more painful.

"Are you coming back to the apartment with me?" Chloe asked.

"No, I'm staying here for the next couple of days. I don't now if or when he'll snap back to us, but I'm going to make sure I'm here when he does. I have to show him that I won't leave him either. If we were to leave him all alone, he may hurt himself. We have to show him that he had people here that love and support him." She felt tears coming again, but she swallowed hard, keeping them at bay.

"I would stay too, but I need to sleep in a bed. "I'll make sure to be here first thing in the morning though. There are some other things we need to do before we go to the visitation." Chloe let her words trail off as she flipped on the television.

Lois watched as the first thing that came on was the news. The segment was about Senator Kent and her untimely death. "Turn it." She said instantly. Chloe did as she asked, but not before giving her a fleeting glance. Lois caught the look. "I can't deal with the details right now. I will grieve, and then I will get to the bottom of what happened."

"You don't think there is anything suspicious about her death do you?"

"No." Lois said softly. "But it never hurts to know exactly what happened."

Silence settled over them as they stared at the TV. Lois wanted so badly to cry again, but her heart wasn't in it, she was too exhausted. Her head turned as she heard the screen door opening, a voice trailing in behind it.

"Hello?"

Chloe turned her head and got up. She recognized that voice. "Pete?" She asked, her voice cracking as she made her way hastily towards the door.

"Chloe." Pete said loudly, wrapping the blond tightly in his arms. He let her tears fall on his shoulder as she cried uncontrollably in his embrace. "It's okay." He said with a shaky voice.

She cried into his shoulder for a little longer and eventually pulled herself from him. "It's good to see you Pete."

"You too." He replied. "I only wish it was under better circumstances."

Chloe wiped her eyes and nodded. "Pete, this is my cousin Lois Lane.".

"Lois." Pete said tenderly, walking up and wrapping her in a tight hug.

She squirmed uncomfortably as she pushed herself out of his arms. She didn't know the man, save for what Clark and Chloe had said about him. Normally she would have backed away from a strangers embrace instantly, but she knew this man was Clark's closet friend from high school. "Hi Pete." She said softly, finally getting out of his embrace.

"Where's Clark?" He asked, turning back to Chloe.

"Outside in the barn." She replied.

"Really? Why isn't he inside resting?"

Lois butted in. "He's not taking it well."

"What do you mean? If he's having a hard time, shouldn't we be consoling him?"

Chloe took her opportunity to speak. "He's not grieving Pete, he's gone completely cold. He walks around not speaking, not even so much as looking at us. He spends all his time in the barn to keep himself busy."

"So he hasn't cried, not even mentioned her death?"

Lois shook her head. "He's spoken of her, but he hasn't cried. He's passed over the whole issue by being completely ignorant to it. Earlier I asked him how he was feeling, and he just shrugged, confused why as to why I had asked him that."

Pete ran his hand over his face. "Clark was always one to bottle things up, and with his mother and father both gone, I couldn't begin to imagine how much he is hurting inside."

"Yes, and I get the feeling he is acting like this not only because he's hurting, but because he feels like he needs to protect those around him. He thinks the best way to do that is show no emotion himself."

Pete looked at Lois and raised his eyebrows. He turned his head to Chloe. "Does she know?" he asked.

Chloe shook her head.

"Know what?" Lois said in surprise.

"Nothing." Chloe said quickly.

"It's not nothing! You've been dancing around my questions all day." She said in frustration. "And whatever it is, I want to know."

"That's something we can't speak of Lois." Pete said. "That's something Clark will have to tell you."

Lois almost screamed; there were more people with secrets that they couldn't tell. First Oliver, now Clark, it was all too much for her to handle. "I'm going to bed." She said in a huff, turning away, walking up the stairs and disappearing into Martha's room.

Chloe sighed as she rubbed her arms. "I wish he would have just told her already."

Pete shuffled his feet nervously as he followed her into the living room. "Why hasn't he? She seems to care for him a lot."

"She does. She cares about him as much as we do, but things have been strange between those two."

"How do you mean?" He asked, sitting on the couch with her.

Chloe flipped the channel for no good reason at all. "Clark and Lois, ever since they met, have been at each other's throats."

"I thought you said a long time ago that they were friends?"

"They are, but it's a strange friendship. They get their kicks from bickering with each other, teasing one another until the one of them can't find a suitable comeback."

Pete almost laughed, but he didn't. "Let me guess, Clark never wins."

"He does, and that's what I think makes their relationship so different. I've known Lois my whole life, and she could take down any man in her way, but Clark, he's the first person that has ever been able to give back as good as she dished."

"Do you think there's something there that they don't see? From everything you're talking about, it sounds like foreplay to me." He smiled at Chloe, relieving some of the tension and grief that was hanging in the air.

"No, but because of the way they are when around each other, he completely forgets that he is different. Even when he's around me, he still feels alone, but with Lois, she keeps him so busy that he doesn't have time to think about anything like that."

"That still doesn't explain why he hasn't told her his secret." He reiterated.

"I don't think he is consciously keeping it from her. When they're around each other it gets pushed so far away from his mind I think he completely forgets about it. I'm sure if you asked him why he hasn't, he would say that he hasn't even given it any thought."

Pete was smiling still. "That's rare. Once he told me everything, I thought his life would be a little easier once he had someone his age who knows who he really was, but he was nearly as scared as before. Maybe if he told Lois about himself, he wouldn't feel so alone. She seems like the kind of person that could handle it, and accept him for exactly who he is."

Chloe couldn't help but return his wide smile. "I know Pete, but that's for them to figure out. They each care more deeply for each other than both of them are willing to admit. Sometimes I get the feeling that they're oblivious to it, just content at the bickering they always seem to find themselves in."

"Has Mrs. Kent's passing been what's finally drove Lois to that realization? From what you've told me, your cousin doesn't get upset over many things."

"It could be that, but it started a few months ago on Valentines Day. Clark was still brooding about Lex and Lana."

"I was a little concerned when I heard about that." Pete said suddenly.

Chloe nodded. "I'm more than a little concerned, but I've come to the realization that it's her mistake to make. She has to learn for herself. You know Lana, she's always been thick headed and selfish."

Pete nodded. "Please, continue with Clark and Lois. What happened on Valentines Day?"

Chloe nodded and continued, her voice becoming stronger as she filled Pete in about everything that had happened. She told him about Oliver, the zoners, and everything else she could think of. By the time she had finished, it was almost ten o'clock. She had been gushing for almost and hour.

Pete sat there and took it all in. "So." He said finally. "They didn't speak for a whole month?"

"That's right." She replied.

"What happened so that they got over it?"

"Clark went to her and fought for them both. It was Lois's own stubbornness that drove them apart to begin with, and Clark was going to let her come to terms with her behavior herself, but I told him she wouldn't do that. I finally convinced him to stop giving her space, and surprisingly, he went to speak with her."

"Did he tell you what they spoke about?"

She shook her head in confusion. "No, they never speak of it at all. I don't even think they speak to each other about it. They just slipped back into their normal witty banter. I never put much stock into it. I was just happy to see them acting normal around each other again. Trust me; it was awkward being here when Lois and Clark were in the same room. Neither of them would talk, but they would stare at each other endlessly, as if all communication was passed directly through their eyes."

Pete could only nod. "Maybe it's something so deep that no one can understand. From what you've told me, they share something incredibly unique. My mom always told me that when you can read someone and interact by just looking at their eyes, you're destined to be with them."

Chloe managed a laugh. "I used to think that was the silliest thing in the world, Clark and Lois, but ever since that day with the lipstick and the red k, I can't help but feel a tug at the back of my mind that says the exact same thing."

"How about you?" Pete asked, changing the subject instantly. "Has Chloe Sullivan fallen under the throws of love?" He chuckled at her.

Chloe smiled at him warmly. "Yes, in fact I have."

"Oh." Pete said with a toothy grin. "Who?" He asked greedily.

"Jimmy Olsen." She said sheepishly, a little embarrassed.

Pete's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Jimmy Olsen. You mean the same-."

"Yes, that Jimmy Olsen."

Pete could only open his mouth in surprise. "Wow." Was all that escaped his lips.

"I know I know." She said, still embarrassed. "It's a little lame, I agree, but he's a wonderful guy. He treats me well."

"As he should." Pete said, still grinning. His smile faltered as he heard the screen door squeak. He stood up and turned around. Walking from the sofa, he made his way towards the shadow that was displayed on the floor.

Chloe got up with him and walked towards where Clark was. She watched as Pete walked up to his large friend. Pete looked as if he was about to say something, but he stopped dead in his tracks. She knew he had seen it, the cold and empty eyes of death. Pete visibly gulped.

"Clark, it's good to see you."

"Pete? When did you get here?" Clark asked, his voice still emotionless.

"About an hour ago." He responded. He stared at his large friend for a few more seconds. "I'm sorry to hear about your mom."

Clark shrugged as he kicked off his work boots. "It happens to us all eventually." He said, not bothering to bend over and straighten his footwear.

"Clark." Pete said more forcibly. "You can't be like this, you have to grieve. I can tell that you're bottling everything up."

He brushed passed Pete and went to the fridge. He opened the door and pulled out a beer. He flipped the cap off with his thumb.

"Whoa, when did you get beer?" Chloe asked suddenly.

He frowned at her. "Last night, why do you ask?"

Pete cut Chloe off before she could respond. "Clark, are you okay?"

Taking a deep guzzle, he brought the bottle back down to his stomach. "Yeah, why do you ask?"

Chloe watched as Pete looked at her with a worried glance. "I told you." She said.

Pete just looked back at Clark. "I'll be there tomorrow and Monday." He said finally.

"Good to know." Clark responded, brushing by both of them with a cold stare as he made his way to the couch.

Both she and Pete watched as he disappeared to the living room and sat on the couch. "Like I said." She began.

"He's not taking it well." He finished for her. Pete looked to her pleadingly. "I'm going back to my hotel; I don't think I can take much more of this. Do you need a ride somewhere, or are you staying here to look after him?"

Chloe looked at Clark and then back to Pete. "I told Lois I would go back to her apartment and sleep, but I'm not sure."

"You need a good nights sleep Chloe. Even if Clark isn't grieving, there is nothing you can do until he starts. Right now I think he can handle himself. Maybe in the morning things will change."

"Maybe." Chloe replied. "Okay, I'll leave, but let me tell Lois first."

Pete nodded to her as he watched her run up the stairs quickly. He looked over to the dark living room. The light from the TV was shining brightly, Clark's head hiding half the screen. "I know you can hear me Clark." He whispered quietly. "I hope you can come to terms with this, or you're going to lose everyone close to you." He finished, warning him.

Chloe came back down the steps, her hands wiping on her pants instinctively. "Okay, let's go." She said, grabbing her keys off the counter. "Bye Clark." She said, but got no return words. He just continued to stare at the television. She sighed as she turned out all the lights and exited the house, her feet echoing off the porch as she went back to Lois's place for what would be a very unsettling sleep.

-

Lois lay flat out on the bed. Her head was screaming at her, telling her to get out of Martha's bedroom. She would have felt guilty and uncomfortable about sleeping in her bed, but for some reason it felt relaxing. The presence of Mrs. Kent's belongings made her feel like she might be able to put closure to it. Martha hadn't been dead for twenty-four hours yet, but she was certain she was almost done with her crying. It was her personality that allowed her to get over things so quickly. She knew from her mother's death that moping and crying for days on end was not the best thing. She decided to focus on the life Martha had lived, and how special she really was.

The woman had adopted a child, along with her husband, and raised him into the most honorable and noble person she had ever met. That was their pride and joy, Clark. He meant everything thing to her, and she in turn meant so much to him as well.

Lois could still remember the day when her mother died, and how painful it was, even if she was young and unable to fully comprehend it. As the years went by, she missed the motherly presence, and essentially turned herself into one for Lucy. She had been robbed of her childhood, and it made her exactly who she was, a brash, noisy, and overall confident woman.

Some days she wondered if anyone would accept her for who she was. She always knew that Chloe would be there for her, but never in a million years did she think she would have met a man like Clark. He was genuinely kind, never looking for gratitude or praise for his good deeds, content on seeing that others were happy. That all came back to his parents though, they had instilled in him the attitude and manners that all young men should have. When she had first met him, she thought him a dork because of his politeness, but the more she had gotten to know him, the more she realized that he was indeed different than any other well mannered farm boy.

Of course, he didn't think he was anything special, but then again that was just his usual modesty coming into play. Smallville was more special than anyone she had ever met.

It was still early in the evening, and she was unable to sleep. She crawled off the bed and went out the door, her hands rubbing her arms as she felt the cool night air hit her as she walked down the stairs. Chloe had told her she was going back to the apartment, and that Pete had a hotel room in town. That left her alone with Clark, which wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't turned into a heartless and cold monster. Well, monster wasn't the correct word, but there wasn't much else she could think of.

Her feet bounced off the steps as she made her way downstairs. The house was completely dark. It looked as if her cousin had turned off all the lights. The only thing that emitted any type of light was the TV, and the sound was down really low. Reaching the bottom step, she walked toward the living room, her eyes focused on the back of Clark's head as she made her way closer. As she walked up to the side of the sofa, she stopped to look at him.

He was holding a beer in his hand, its bottom resting on his knee as his eyes stared straight at the television. He was watching something that looked like a comedy, but he showed no hint that it was funny. A second later, he put the beer to his lips.

She continued to stare at him as he repeated the motion almost ever thirty seconds. He probably knew she was standing there, and he more than likely didn't care, but she couldn't help but stare. He was so rigid, his legs completely motionless. Her eyes threatened to water at the hopeless sight, but she steeled herself.

Working up the courage that had been evading her, she sat down at the other end of the couch and watched him more intently. Normally he would have gone off the deep end about her staring at him, but he did nothing, his eyes still transfixed on the television. With his left hand still on his beer, he had his right wrapped around the remote. She made a bold move and removed the remote. She changed the channel, hoping to get some kind of reaction from him, but it was all in vain. He was still staring at the screen, blinking slowly every ten seconds or so. She studied him longer, but not before she put on a sappy movie, something she thought might get him to react. Again he said nothing, not even so much as anything other than a blink.

She wanted so bad to hit him into submission, to get him to snap back to reality, but she had to be careful. His mind was obviously fragile, no matter how much his actions said otherwise. Turning her attention to the TV, she turned on something she enjoyed, not bothering to look at Clark. She already knew what he was doing, and she didn't need to look at him to remember. As the silence enveloped them even more, she shifted herself nervously towards him. Grabbing his hand in hers, she leaned up against him in a bold attempt to get him to warm up to her. He did nothing of the sort though, and she just gripped his open palm, content on just giving him the slightest of human contact.

The noise of the TV and weight of the silence between them became too much as she felt her eyelids dropping rapidly. She quickly fell asleep; smiling to herself as she was sure she had felt him grip her hand tightly just before she drifted off into a deep slumber.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lois woke with a start. Her breathing was heavy and lethargic as she groaned loudly. Rubbing her eyes with the back of her right hand, she turned herself over and slapped the snooze button on the alarm. She realized, as she opened her eyes, that she was in Martha's bed. She figured Clark must have put brought her up and tucked her in, for all she could remember was falling asleep on his shoulder. His grip on her hand was something she could remember vividly. She had slipped through his emotionless barrier for the slightest of moments.

Another groan escaped the back of her throat as she lifted the covers off and sat up. Her head was a little dizzy, but she balanced it out by stroking her hair, allowing her blood to start pumping more rapidly. She was in her pajamas, having changed into them before Chloe had left, but it looked as if Clark had removed her slippers for her. She had made sure to wear her regular pajamas; Martha's were just a little too small.

She could here voices coming from downstairs as she made her way to the door and down the stairs. Her heart was feeling incredibly heavy, the grief and the realization of what she was going to go through today was almost too much. As she entered the kitchen, she was greeted by Chloe and Pete. Both were dressed in their regular clothes, but she could see their dress clothes resting on a hook by the wall.

"Lois? I thought you would have woken up a little earlier?" Chloe said as she fixed a cup of coffee.

"Why? What time is it?" Lois asked, grabbing the mug from her cousin's hand and taking a small sip.

"It's almost noon." Pete replied.

"Noon? Wow, I must have been tired." She rubbed her forehead in a vain attempt to wake herself up. "Where's Clark?"

Chloe looked at Lois and gave her a weak smile. "He's in the shower."

"Good." Lois said. "Maybe he'll be a little more open this morning."

Pete shook his head. "I don't think so. When I saw him come from the barn earlier, he looked even colder than before. He wouldn't even speak to us, and trust me; we tried to get him to talk."

Lois set her mug down, leaned her elbows on the island counter and laid her head in her open palms. "I figured he'd be better. Last night he actually let me in for the slightest of seconds."

"What do you mean?" Chloe asked, getting closer and rubbing her cousin's shoulder.

Lois took a deep breath and rubbed her still sleepy eyes. "I couldn't sleep after you guys left. I went downstairs to watch some TV and to see if Smallville had come back in from outside yet." She paused to take a deep breath. "He was on the couch, just staring at the television blankly. I changed channels, did everything I could to get him to show something, but he was quiet and unmoving."

Chloe butted in. "That's not really a change Lois."

"Let me finish?" She asked heatedly. Her cousin raised her hands in submission, and she continued. "As I was saying, Clark was sitting there and ignoring everything around him. I worked up the courage and slid over to him, to show him that I was there for him if he needed me."

"And?" Chloe asked quickly.

"He did nothing, as you would expect, so I grabbed his hand to hold it. He didn't refuse, but he didn't grip it back. Then just as I was falling asleep, I could have sworn that he gripped it back. Then the next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed."

Chloe's lips split into a tight smile. "Well, at least you got somewhere. This morning was particularly tough."

"It sure was." Pete exclaimed a second later. "I swore that he looked like he had killed someone. There was that cold look in his eyes, but there was something else, something sinister."

Lois was concerned, and more than a little worried. "So he said nothing?"

"Absolutely nothing." Chloe replied for her.

She dropped her head in her hands again. "I need to have a shower and get to my apartment to pick up my dress."

"I brought it with me." Chloe said, pointing to the bags hanging from the hook. "Your shoes are on the floor too. I figured you'd not want to leave the house unless you necessarily had to."

"Thank you." She said weakly. Her head turned around as she saw Clark walk down the stairs, dressed neatly in his suit and tie. Then she saw it, the horrid look he displayed. It was just a cold as Pete had said it was, but she saw the other element he had spoken about too. It wasn't sinister, it was evil. There was no other word for it, it was pure evil. She began to shake in slippers as she moved quickly from the island counter and ran up the stares, unable to continue looking at him. She slipped into the bathroom and closed the door in a hurry.

"Lois?" A voice from behind the door said. "I put your dress and things in Martha's room for you."

"Thank you." She replied weakly, her voice muffled by tears. Clark's expression had been too much. She quickly chastised herself for getting so emotional; she never used to be like this. Then again, times were not what they once were.

-

Chloe walked back down the stairs and went to the counter and stood by Pete, who was staring at Clark. Her large friend was sitting on the couch again, watching the TV with what most people would consider apt attention. She knew better though. He was likely not paying attention to it at all; he was probably fighting a battle somewhere within himself. There was a knock at the door, and she watched as Lionel walked through with his suit and trench coat on. The day wasn't going to be as warm as previous ones. There was a cold front that had worked its way through during the night, and left the morning air brisk and chipper.

"Is everyone almost ready?" Lionel asked, closing the door behind him.

"No." Chloe replied, seeing Pete tense up at the presence of a Luthor. "Pete, don't be worried about Mr. Luthor here, he's a good man."

Lionel gave the boy a weak grin. "The past between our families is exactly that, the past Mr. Ross."

Chloe nodded when Pete looked at her for confirmation. "He's been nothing but kind to Martha and Clark. He protects Clark's secret even more so than all of us."

Pete looked from Chloe to Lionel, who was still trying to smile. It didn't suit the man, but at least he was trying. "It's just hard Mr. Luthor, there's a lot of history between our families."

"I know young man, but I do hope you can accept my apologies. I never meant for it to get as carried away as it did." Lionel stopped grinning, becoming instantly serious. He extended his hand, waiting for the young man to accept his offering of peace.

"You're both going to have to tell me how you fit into this secret of Clark's." Pete said, hesitantly extending his hand and shaking it.

"Later, son." Lionel said warmly, clasping his hand overtop of the young mans one in his other hand. "For now, let's me just tell you that I know more about his destiny than anyone here."

Pete let his mouth open slowly as he was finally able to free his hands. "I'm going to want to here it all, but later." He said.

Chloe walked by both of them and picked up her dress from the hook on the wall. "I'm going to go change upstairs. Pete, you can change in Clark's room if you want."

"Thanks." He replied, grabbing his own bag of clothes and heading up the stairs behind her.

Lionel stood and watched the two of them disappear from view. Once they were in their respective rooms, he wandered into the living room and sat on the couch with Clark. He stared blankly at the TV with the young man, his eyes unmoving. "This is a test Kal-El, a test of who you are. You must not fail. You must be strong, and you must allow yourself to feel. The longer your heart is closed, the more likely you are to become what you most hate."

With that being said, he stood up suddenly and walked back into the kitchen. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the young man's head turn slightly to the right. Lionel stood back at the counter, staring at Clark. The young man's head turned back to the TV without even changing his expression. Kal-El had heard the message, but it would be another thing all together if it had been received by Clark.

-

Lois walked into the bedroom and was greeted by Chloe in only her bra and panties. "Cousin, I would suggest locking the door when you're getting naked." She quickly pulled her towel around her tighter. She had blow dried her hair in the bathroom, but her legs were still dripping.

"Ha. Ha!" Chloe mocked loudly, slipping on her black dress. "A little help?" She asked, turning her back to her cousin.

"Of course." Lois said, turning and zipping her dress up for her. She was careful and didn't rush it. The material was expensive. "When did you buy this? I haven't seen it before."

Chloe turned around in front of the mirror. "I bought it a while ago for a function for the Daily Planet. It was a formal attire affair, and I needed something new."

"It looks good." Lois said, dropping her towel and quickly slipping on her undergarments.

"Yours does too." Chloe exclaimed, pulling Lois's black dress out of the long bag and held it up. She scrutinized it for a second. "When did you get this?"

Lois did up her bra and walked over and removed the dress from her cousin's hands. "I got this when I went out with Oliver on our second date. It was for the fund raising party with Martha."

"When the Green Arrow took her necklace?" Chloe asked, brushing her hair while still looking in the mirror.

"Yes." Lois said weakly, her voice a little shaky at the mention of Martha. It was going to be a harder day than she thought. She sat on the bed and slipped on a pair of pantyhose. "It's going to be hard not to cry." She said suddenly, not enjoying the silence that had settled on them.

Chloe nodded. "I know, but that doesn't mean we can't. She was a wonderful woman Lois; she deserves to have tears shed for her."

"I wish her son would be one of those." She said softly, finishing her work with the pantyhose. Grabbing the dress, she slipped it on and straightened it out. She flipped her hair back and out of the dress. It was a low cut v-neck, but it showed no cleavage. It was small and thin on the shoulders, but not too much that it was inappropriate.

"Clark will grieve eventually. I think once all this business with the visitation and the funeral is over, he will finally allow himself to come to grips with it. Remember how he was with dad's death? He struggled with it, but he finally came to accept it."

"You're right." Lois said with a heavy sigh. "The thing that worries me though is that there isn't anyone around to help him through it. When Mr. Kent died, Martha was there for him, but now, he has no one."

"That's not true." Chloe exclaimed, slipping in a pair of long earrings. "He has you, me, Pete, and even Lionel."

Lois shook her head. "No Chloe, I mean he was no one who loves him. You love him as a friend, so do I, but he has no one in his life who truly understands him. He is all alone."

"Did you just say you loved Clark Kent?" Chloe asked with a sly grin, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Shut up, you know what I meant." She said, throwing a pillow at her.

"Yes, I do, but that doesn't mean he's completely alone Lois. As long as there are people who care for him, he'll never be alone." She had caught the pillow and put it back on the end of the bed.

"Smallville doesn't know that though. He's locked himself away so that he can't be hurt again. He feels like all those who loved him have disappeared." Lois sighed again and walked to the mirror and brushed her own hair. It was curly, but not as much as a few days earlier.

"It's his greatest fear." Chloe said, finally satisfied with her hair.

"What is?" Lois asked, letting her cousin take over the combing of her hair.

"Being alone. It's his biggest fear."

"Is that why he's always been moping and brooding in the loft?"

"Yes, but that had more to do with Lana, first about their relationship, then about Lana and Lex's." She finished her cousin's hair and set the brush on the dresser next to them.

"I guess I really never understood how hard it really is for him. I've always been envious of what he's had, and it drove me to be more than a little mean to him sometimes." She patted her hair tenderly to make sure it was where she wanted it. "I regret every time I hurt him."

Chloe couldn't help but smile at the way her cousin was talking. She never thought Lois would be one to care about Clark's feelings, but things had been a little different since Valentines Day. "I know he'd forgive you if you told him." She said a second later.

"I know he would." Lois proclaimed, turning away from the mirror and slipping on her high heeled shoes. They didn't show anything but the top of her foot, but they were still somewhat stylish. "Clark forgives anyone without even so much as a second thought, except Lex of course."

Chloe sighed at the mention of Lex. "Lex and Clark have an even more troubled past than he and Lana did. Those two were the best of friends before you came to Smallville."

"Are you saying I had something to do with the ending of their friendship?"

"No, no. That's not what I'm saying. What I mean is that just soon after his graduation, their friendship fell apart. "

"Why Chloe?" Lois said, opening the door for her cousin to walk out.

"Lex, much like you, was jealous of all that Clark had, but he couldn't accept that, he did everything to try and convince Clark and his parents he was a good man. His true intentions were shown though. And you know Clark, he doesn't associate himself with people who are evil in nature, and that's what Lex has become."

Lois nodded as she followed her cousin out the door and down the steps. Pete was already waiting on the porch with Lionel. Clark was standing out there too, his body more rigid than ever. The cool wind moved her hair as she grabbed her black coat that Chloe had left on the hook. Slipping it on and doing it up, she stepped down the porch steps and towards the limo. She couldn't help but feel the incredible weight of her heart as she filed into the vehicle with the others. No one spoke, but everyone knew just how painful the day was going to be.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

She exited the limo last, her hair flowing wildly in the wind as she hugged her coat tightly to herself. The sky was grey, a slight drizzle falling as she followed them up the stairs of the funeral home. She couldn't help but feel the emptiness creep in, the slow haunting pain that she knew Clark was feeling. She stared at his back as they entered the doors, the warmth of the building hitting her head on. She felt the instant need to remove her coat.

Lois did remove her coat, along with Chloe, and made her way to the main room. It was only fitting that it was a breezy, cold, and rainy day. The world had lost a great woman, she had lost a mom, and the rain symbolized the world crying.

Clark was still quiet and cold, his hands resting softly at his side. She followed him and the others into the room with the casket. Tears began to force their way forward as the silence, the magnificence of the flowers and pictures that surrounded her taking hold.

The casket was closed for obvious reasons, the collage of pictures pinned up behind it. She could feel her tears falling rapidly, her fingers finding a tissue and wiping them away. It was the most surreal moment of her life, something that didn't seem real, but was. Her cousin rapped an arm around her waist for comfort, and she did likewise in return. They all stood there in a silent trance, their eyes staring blankly at the casket. Each one of them had a look of grief, and even tears. She found it almost frightening to see Lionel in tears, but the man was human, just like everyone else. Pete was sniffing loudly as he fought back his own tears. She and her cousin let them flow without restraint.

What happened next surprised her. She watched as Clark lifted his hand and placed it on the coffin. A new round of tears came out of her as she felt the incredible weight of his action. It symbolized not only recognition, but remembrance. It may not have shown on his face, but for a second she could see his eyes soften. But as soon as it began, it was over, his hand falling back to his side. She wiped away more tears as she clutched to her cousin tightly. Chloe had seen it too, and she smiled weakly at her. "I know." She whispered softly.

Turning, she looked through the numerous flowers that were set around the coffin. She recognized only a few names as she spied each one with great curiosity. She smiled as saw one from her father. Actually, it was from the military, but it had his signature on the bottom of the card. Taking a deep breath, she made her way to the back room with the others. Lionel was talking to the funeral home director as they disappeared from view.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this." Chloe exclaimed, sitting down with Pete on one of the sofas.

Pete put his arm around her shoulder and rubbed it softly. "It's going to be hard, but it must be done."

She sniffled a few times until she had controlled herself. "How do we do this? Is Clark going to be the only one up there? Martha had no other family."

Lionel walked in suddenly, his trench coat missing. "He won't be standing alone. Martha's father should be here shortly, and I have arranged it so that we will be standing with him."

Lois didn't sit with them; she had simply walked up beside Clark as he stood watching the rain fall through a large bay window. She fought the urge to cry, and succeeded, but not before she took a sharp inhale. His reflection shone in the window, his eyes even colder in the pale silhouette of his body.

"What about the order?" Pete asked.

Lionel dropped himself into a chair and rubbed his hand over his face. "Clark and his grandfather will be at the front. Who comes after I don't know?"

Lois didn't turn from the window as she spoke. "I will be by Clark's side."

Chloe looked to her cousin, who was standing and staring out the window with him. They both looked like statues as they were both unmoving. Something clicked, and she realized suddenly that Lois cared more for Clark than she let on. The simplest gesture of standing with him at the window spoke volumes. Lois intended to help him through it, no matter at what cost to herself. She smiled to herself, knowing Lois had been holding something in since that Valentines Day. Others may not have seen it, but she did. There was a connection they shared that went beyond friendship.

Getting off the couch, she walked up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I don't think anyone is going to debate you on that." She said softly.

"Thank you." Lois replied, her hand going up to rest on Chloe's.

"Clark?"

Lois turned around when she heard the deep voice. Clark was still unmoving though.

"William." Lionel said, standing up and shaking the man's hand. "We're all sorry for the loss of your daughter."

"Call me Bill." He said a second later, never taking his eyes of his grandson. "Is he okay?" He asked, leaning closer to Lionel.

"No, but I hope he will be eventually. He's taking it very hard. He's locked himself away from everyone around him. He doesn't speak, and he rarely moves unless he needs to."

"Is there anything I can do?" Martha's father asked.

Lois walked up to him with Chloe. "Just try to be supportive, that's all we can do until he decides to come back to us."

"And you are?" He asked, extending his hand politely.

"Lois." She said with a weak smile.

"Girlfriend?"

"Just a friend." She said with a sad smile.

Everyone else introduced themselves as they sat down and chatted idly. Lois didn't speak though; she simply sat and watched Clark. For the entire twenty minutes she watched him, not once did she him move. At one point she thought she had seen him look at her reflection in the window, but she couldn't be sure.

It approached two o'clock, the first session of visitations about to come through. As the others got up to go into the main room, Lois walked over to Clark and grabbed his hand in hers. It was warm, not cold like his demeanor. "It's time to start Smallville." She said warmly, using his nickname in the most sincere form possible.

"Okay." Clark responded.

She smiled when he spoke, taking away a small victory. "Let's go." She said with a soft voice, pulling him towards the main room. He didn't resist. He allowed her to guide him to the casket. She stood beside him and reluctantly let go of his hand. His grandfather was to his right, and she was to his left. Lionel, Chloe, and Pete were also in line.

She was surprised to see the first person come thought the front door. Her father strode in solemnly. He was in his usual fatigues, but he held his hat in his hands as he walked up to Pete and shook his hand. Smiling, she continued to watch as he made his way to each person in line, expressing his condolences.

He hugged Chloe tightly, speaking a few soft words in her ear for comfort. "I'm sorry Chloe, I know she was a wonderful woman."

"You do?" Chloe asked, wiping a tear away.

"Of course. I wouldn't allow my 'Lo to stay with people who weren't honorable and gracious." He gave her a weak smile and moved on to Lionel.

Lois felt her tears flowing already, unable to hold them in. Seeing her father so soft and warm was a wonderful sight to behold. When he had finished with Lionel, he was standing in front of her. "Daddy." She said weakly. She was instantly wrapped up in a tight hug. She let her emotion spill over as she clutched to him hard. The hug, she needed it, she needed it more than anything else in the world. It was one thing to hug Chloe in grief, but to have her father there was another matter all together.

"I'm so sorry." He said with a gruff voice.

"Thank you." Lois replied, still clutching to him like a little girl. "You should have worn something else." She teased suddenly.

"I know." Sam said with a sigh. "I had some things to take care of before I came. I didn't have enough time to change. I'm sorry."

"That's okay." Lois said, smiling just a little.

He nodded and looked at Clark. "Is he okay?" He asked with a worried tone.

"No." She replied with a shaky voice.

"He's not taking it well?" He asked.

"You could say that."

"Is there anything I can do? I plan on sticking around for a while."

Lois smiled warmly at her father. "I'll fill you in a little later at dinner, okay?"

"Okay." He replied, giving his daughter a peck on the cheek. "There is someone I'd like you to meet though."

"Who?" She was genuinely perplexed.

He moved a little more in front of Clark, but still stood facing his daughter. "Lo, I'd like you to meet the President."

She felt her knees go a little weak at the sight of the leader of the free world. Nervously, she shook the man's hand. He had a firm grip, something she thought a president should have. "H-hello." She said timidly.

"I'm so sorry about your loss. The country grieves with you." He said softly, his body guards flanking him from behind.

"Thank you." She replied with a shaky voice.

"There is no doubt in my mind that if her light was to carry on, she would have been in Washington in no time." He smiled warmly.

Lois couldn't help but drop a few tears in response. He was right of course. Martha could have taken over the country's capital, none the less the state capital, by storm. She was the kind of woman who, if she put her mind to it, could have accomplished anything.

She managed another thank you before she let the man shake Clark's hand. She watched as her father waited for the President to finish before he shook Clark's hand himself. She noticed that Clark didn't even so much as blink or move a muscle when he greeted the President. Her father had no effect on him either. She sniffed loudly, fighting back new tears as she felt her heart tearing apart at the sight of Clark's passiveness. She knew he'd be like that, but she didn't know it would hurt so much. All he did was nod, never saying a word in response.

The President and his guards waved to them all as he followed her father out of the funeral home. She smiled. It was maybe the sweetest thing her father had ever done. She knew for a fact that the President didn't know anything about Martha, but she knew her father had made sure she was respected. If the President had really known her, he would have been crying too.

It was a minute later when her father came back into the funeral home, his arm adorned with a suit. She smiled at him as he nodded and went into the back room. The funeral home had been left empty for the President, but once he had left, the doors were opened widely, and the other guests began to pour in.

-

The afternoon passed slowly, her hand sore from all the handshakes she had received. She grin and bore it though, all in respect to the mom she had lost. She remembered that empty feeling that she had when her real mother had died. Smiling, she thought back to how Martha had filled that void the instant she had met her. Now that void was back, an emptiness she was certain she would never fill again.

Most of the guests were those of dignitaries and politicians. She knew none of them, only content in the fact that Martha was not only respected as a politician, but respected as a person too. Each person said their condolences, a few words of praise, and moved on. Every now and then, she would introduce them to Clark, but most of them knew he was Martha's son. His mother's father was taking everything in stride as well. He wasn't crying like she was, but she could see the sorrow on his face. From what she knew, he had been a lawyer for so long; she wasn't surprised by his tough demeanor.

Before she knew it, the afternoon visitation was over. Her father stood by the guestbook with his hands clasped behind his back. He was at attention it seemed, but he wasn't cold as ice. There was a gentle look to him, something she hadn't seen for years.

As the doors to the funeral home closed, she took a deep breath. Only two more hours to go. She thought to herself.

Chloe took a deep breath and felt Pete put a hand on her back.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

"No, but one day I will be." She said with a sniff. "Tonight and tomorrow are going to be even tougher."

"I know, but we're all here for each other." He said, guiding her to the back room.

Lois watched as Clark's grandfather walked to the coffin and placed a fatherly hand on it. She felt her tears returning as she watched him lean his head on the casket. She couldn't even begin to imagine how she would feel if she ever one day lost a daughter, or a son for that matter. The grief she knew would probably be too much to bear, but then again, she knew that if that day ever came, she would have the love of a husband to pull her through.

"Lois?" Sam asked, walking up to his daughter and touching her arm. She was still standing beside the mute farm boy. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She said, sniffling and wiping her cheek with a tissue. "Come on Smallville, let's get something to eat." She grabbed his hand to lead him to the back room. When he didn't allow himself to be dragged, she stopped and turned back to him. "Clark?" She asked, even more worried than before.

"I'm leaving." He said suddenly, wrenching his hand from her grasp and making his way to the front door.

Moisture made its way back to her cheeks as she saw him push his way out the door and into the rainy streets. She went to go after him, but her father's hand on her arm stopped her. "Let go." She said in a stern voice.

"No 'Lo. You have to let him get some air. He needs it."

"No." Lois said, clearly frustrated. "He needs me."

"I'm sure he does, and you can be there for him later, but right now you have to let him works things out on his own. If, and when he returns, you can smother him all you want."

"Smother?" She asked. When her father grinned at her, she couldn't help but smile back. "I guess I have been protecting him a little too much." She said, stopping her struggle with his hand.

"It's okay to do that Lois, but for now, let's just leave him alone."

Lois nodded and hugged her father. She let her barriers crumble in his arms, much like she did with Clark a few nights earlier. "It hurts so bad." She cried into his shoulder.

"I know dear, I know." He patted her head to sooth her. She was shaking and sobbing in his arms as he whispered softly. "I know I've always taught you to keep things in, to be strong, be protective, but it's okay to let yourself open up now and again."

She disengaged herself and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Everyone else was in the back room, leaving only her father and her by the casket. "He's the same way dad. He puts on a brave face for others."

"I can see that." He replied with a tight smile, trying to cheer her up in whatever way possible.

"You don't understand though. The other night he finally opened up, and I did so in return. It meant so much to me. We have been in such a weird place of late, and we almost lost the friendship we shared."

"What happened?" He asked in a fatherly tone, using his thumb to wipe away her tears.

"How about we go for dinner and I'll tell you all about Smallville and I." She said with a small smile.

"Smallville?" He asked with a frown.

"Just a little thing we share." She replied, letting him lift her coat onto her shoulders.

Chloe and the others were walking towards them with their own jackets on. "Where's Clark?" She asked.

"He left." Lois replied, looking at her cousin as she flipped her hair out of her coat.

"Did he tell you where he was going?"

She stared at her cousin strangely.

"Oh, right." Chloe said, slapping her head in foolishness. "Why didn't you follow him?"

"I tried."

"And?"

"I stopped her." Sam said as he slipped on his own overcoat. He had changed into his grey suit earlier, and had remembered to bring his trench coat along too.

"Why?"

He smiled at his niece. "Don't worry, he'll be back."

"How do you know?" She shot back. Her tone was a little angry.

"Still as inquisitive as ever." He said with a soft chuckle. "There's a nice restaurant just down the street. Let's get some food in us. Clark will be back, I promise you."

Lois watched as Chloe smiled in return. She allowed her father to wrap his arm around her shoulders as they went out the front doors, her hair swinging wildly in the cool breeze. The rain hit her face like and anvil of emotion. They felt like tears, but they didn't have the bitter taste of pain.

-

Dinner had been going quite well. The restaurant her father had picked was more than adequate. There hadn't been silence, but rather a boisterous table of people sharing memories and stories. It was what Martha would have wanted, and Lois knew that. She didn't allow her pain eat away at her, instead, she ate her food hungrily. She had regaled her father of her life in the past few months and about her weird relationship with Clark. Her father kept giving her fleeting grins as she had told him about all the things that she and Smallville had gotten into.

Looking back on it now, she knew that she was just being selfish and stupid. It was her fault that they didn't talk for a month. Her father told her that rather bluntly, but she already knew. Things had been going quite well, and they were halfway through dinner when Clark had come back. How he knew they were there she had no idea, but she was more than glad to see him, even if he was still as stiff as before.

"Are you hungry?" Lois asked him. He had sat down beside her. She didn't think much of it, but she was glad to see that he as accepting her words.

Clark shook his head.

Sighing, she watched as he grabbed the glass of water in front of him. She had made sure the waitress had set a plate for Clark, just in case he came back.

"Where did you go?" She asked, fully expecting no answer. The others at the long table were talking amongst each other once again. Her father and Clark's grandfather were talking to one another about politics.

"For a walk." He said suddenly, surprising her.

It almost caused her to lose the grip on her own glass when he answered her. She couldn't believe it, he had been so quiet all day, yet now he chose to speak. Maybe the walk had been good for him, just like her father had said it would? "You're not wet." She said quickly, seeing his dry suit.

Clark turned his head and stared at her, not bothering to give her a response.

When he said nothing more, she dropped it all together. Her head turned back to her plate as she absently pushed around her chicken with her fork. Everyone was talking, but she was silent like Clark. Her appetite suddenly waned as she dropped her fork on the plate. It seemed that his presence was not exactly what she had wanted. She looked back up to see her father smile at her from across the table. The smile was one of helplessness, and all she could manage to do was return one in the same manner.

As the time passed, she stayed quiet, not bothering to get caught up with the noise around her. Her mind was drifting to Clark over and over again. She caught herself staring at him for extended periods of time. He did nothing though, and that wasn't her Smallville. Eventually, she rested her elbows on the table and put her chin in her hands. The day couldn't get any longer than it already was, and yet there were two more hours of visitation and then the funeral the next day.

She knew that putting Martha's casket in he ground would bring closure, but it would also be the most painful thing of all. It would be her final goodbye. The only solace she could find was in the fact that she was joining her husband. In truth, those two didn't deserve to be separated for as long as they had been, but she only wished they were both still alive.

It didn't take long before dinner was over. It was approaching the time for the second visitation, and she got up with the others to leave. Clark didn't move though, he continued to sit there, staring at the wall. The others stopped, but she told them she would bring him along when he was ready.

Sam kissed the top of his daughters head as he grabbed his coat and went to pay the bill.

Lois sat back down, but this time she was in front of him in her father's vacant seat. It was good to see that everyone else understood that she wanted to take care of him, and they left her alone to do so. Ever since that night on the swing, she knew things were going to be different between them, maybe even special. Martha's death was a wrench thrown into the gears of their transition, and it sucked, it royally sucked. Not only had she lost Martha, but now she was losing her best friend too. "I just wish you'd talk to me Smallville." She said, finally giving up and resting her head in her folded arms.

"Soon." He said.

"What?" She asked, lifting her tear streaked face to look at him with surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Soon." He said again.

For the first time in over a day, she saw his eyes soften and look at her warmly. The instant that happened, a warm feeling flooded her body. The sudden pain of seeing him cold and distant disappeared, replaced by nothing but warmth and affection. She pressed him a little more, trying to get more of an explanation. "What do you mean soon?"

"Soon." He said yet again.

She sighed as his face became cold again. At least she had gotten something. Even that little bit of warmth made her feel like she could get through the rest of the evening. Getting up, she stopped beside him. "Are you coming?" She asked softly.

Clark nodded and stood. He put his chair in and followed her out the doors and onto the still rainy streets of Smallville.

Walking beside him, she instinctively grabbed his hand for warmth. No matter his demeanor, his hands were always warm. For the second time in as many days, he clenched her hand back, seemingly content with her touch.

-

The second session was even busier. More and more people had come through the doors as her hand had taken another swollen pounding. She had stood beside Clark once again, her presence seeming to settle him down just a bit. His eyes wee softer than they had been in the afternoon. He must have had a good walk, she said to herself.

It was approaching nine-thirty, and the last remaining people were coming down the line. She could see the last couple in line. She had been hoping that they would have stayed home, but then again, Lana had known Mrs. Kent pretty well in the past. Lex, from what Chloe told her, had been very friendly with Martha too. As the couple moved down the line, she grabbed a hold of Clark's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. He didn't respond, but it was more for her own comfort rather than his. Releasing his hand, she extended it felt Lex shake it softly with his ice cold grip. There was no warmth at all to him, his hands were icy.

"I'm so sorry." Lex said evenly.

She simply nodded, allowing him to move on to Clark. Lana wrapped her in a hug, her petite frame up against her softly. She paid no attention to Lana's whispers though, she had her eyes on Clark and Lex.

"I'm so sorry Clark. You know I always thought highly of your mother. Other than you, she was the only one who saw any good in me."

Lois watched as Lex tried to smile, but it came out awkward and devilish. The man even smiled evilly when he was trying to be nice. Chloe had told her he hadn't always been like that, but to her he was the epitome of evil. When Clark simply nodded and shook the man's hand, she let herself listen to Lana.

"I'm glad that she was in all our lives." Lana finished.

She hadn't heard the beginning of her words, her attention on Clark and Lex, but she responded anyways. "Yes, she was a wonderful woman." Lana smiled at her and she watched as the small lwoman walked to Clark and stood looking up at him. Clark wasn't moving, his eyes staring down at her. Lois almost smiled when she saw Lana gulp visibly. She was more than sure the woman had never seen that look on him before.

"I'm so sorry." Lana said, wrapping her arms around him awkwardly.

Clark didn't respond as usual, his eyes looking down at the top of her head.

"I'm here if you need anything." She said a second later, disengaging herself from him. She wiped a few tears away as she walked over to Lex, both of them quickly make their way out the front door.

Lois could have sworn that Lana's tears were forced. She hadn't shed any herself in the last few hours, but she knew for a fact that she could if she wanted to. She was out of tears though, the afternoon providing enough moisture to do her for the rest of her life.

As the doors finally closed, she sighed heavily. She realized that she had been standing rigidly, probably due to the presence of Lana and Lex. No, it was actually the affection that Lana had shown Clark, with her hug. That was what had her unsettled. She didn't want anyone else comforting him. It was selfish of her, but she knew she was going to be the one to help him through everything. It was sense of responsibility, as if she owed him that much, but as the day had gone on she had realized that she wanted to.

Chloe walked towards Lois. "Hey cousin, how are you holding up?"

"Fine." She replied, rubbing her arms instinctively. "Did you get the same chill I did when those two came through?" She asked.

"No. Who are you talking about?"

"Lex and Lana."

"What about them?"

Lois looked at her cousin and then at the front doors. "Lex looked like he could care less that Martha was dead, and Lana looked like she was forcing her tears."

"Are you sure, Lana knew Mrs. Kent pretty well."

"I know what I saw Chloe, she was faking it."

Chloe sighed and walked up to Clark. "It wouldn't surprise me; she has been in with the devil for the past six months. I can't even begin to imagine how much he has corrupted her." She paused and looked directly at Clark, her arms folded, standing in right in front of him."

"How was _your_ Smallville tonight?" She asked with a small smile.

Lois didn't even bother arguing her cousin's lame attempt to lighten the mood. He wasn't her possession, but it sounded friendly. "He was like what we all expected." She replied, putting a hand on his shoulder for good measure.

"He'll snap out of it soon." Chloe said, reassuring her.

"I know." Lois replied weakly.

-

There wasn't much talking as everyone left the funeral home together. Clark's grandfather left in his own vehicle though, going to his hotel. They dropped both Chloe and Pete off at her apartment, but she didn't go with them. They all knew that she was going back to the farm with Clark, and there had been no argument about it.

The drive back to the farm had been just as quiet, only Lionel and herself inside with Clark. Lionel was staring at his hands, twisting his wedding ring around lovingly. She couldn't help but smile. No matter how many people thought the man a monster of some kind, she couldn't help but notice that he missed the woman he had lost so man years ago. Now he had one more woman she knew he'd be remembering for the rest of his life.

As they pulled up to the house, she exited the vehicle with Clark, her coat wrapped tightly around herself. The rain had stopped, but the clouds hid the stars and the moon. Following Clark into the house, she slipped her coat off and went up to the island counter. Dropping her keys on the marble top, she watched Clark disappear up the steps. She was incredibly exhausted, but she wasn't going to sleep. Flipping on the coffee maker, she walked after Clark and up to Martha's room. She quickly changed into her pajamas and put on her bunny slippers.

It was a few moments late and she was in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee for herself. She could see Clark on the couch again, the TV shining brightly. Lionel had arranged for the neighbors to do the evening chores for him, but it surprised her that he hadn't gone out to check to see if they had been done. Clark was usually cautious when it came to he animals in the barn. She finished fixing her cup and poured a mug for him. Knowing exactly what he liked in it, she dropped two teaspoons of sugar in it and walked over to the living room.

Clark was flipping through the channels, the volume low.

Lois was pleased to see that he was actually doing something other than sitting and staring. He was doing that, but he was using the remote too; earlier the other day he hadn't even bothered with changing channels. "I brought you some coffee." She said, extending it out to him.

"Thank you." He replied, taking it from her hand.

She smiled. He had said thank you, and to her that meant so much more than he could've known. It was another sign that he was allowing her in, if only slightly. She sat down beside him, making sure her knee was touching his leg. There was no denying it, she liked being close to him. "How are you holding up?" She asked boldly.

"Fine." He replied in a monotone voice.

She would accept that for now. He seemed a little more open to her now, and she wouldn't press him, it might accidentally push him too far. "Is there anything good on?" She asked innocently.

"No." He responded.

She nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. He didn't seem to register it, but she thought she could feel him twitch just a little. Taking a sip of her coffee, she watched television with him. It was Sunday night, and she let him chose what to watch, but he seemed unable to make up his mind. "You're right, there's nothing on." For the second night in a row, she casually reached over and took a hold of his hand. This time he gripped it back instantly. She quickly drained her mug and set it on her lap, still holding it with one hand.

Her eyelids were getting heavy. For the third night in a row, she was going to fall asleep on him, making him carry her to bed. "Goodnight Smallville." She said, yawning loudly at the same time. Snuggling her head tightly into his plaid shoulder, she smiled as she drifted off to sleep.

Clark looked down at her soft features. He hadn't drunk from his mug yet, so he set it on the small table beside him. "Goodnight Lois." He said softly, his voice cracking just a little as he looked from her to the TV once again.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Lois was up earlier than usual. She had stepped down the stairs just as she had heard Clark exit the house and go to the barn. The ominous feeling of the day was weighing heavily in the house, but she didn't allow herself to get upset. Instead, she had simply showered and fixed breakfast for the two of them.

There was no guarantee that he was going to eat it, but she did her best not to burn the eggs and toast. The bacon wasn't difficult; she used the microwave instead of a pan.

It wasn't until eight thirty before he had came back in from chores. She had everything on the table for a hearty breakfast. There was a sense of hope in the air, as if Clark may have been a little more open. Standing at the back of one of the chairs at the dining table, she watched as Clark lumbered his way through the door. He had no coat on, yet it was still a cold morning. It wasn't raining, but the sky was still dark and cloudy. "I made breakfast." She said suddenly. He looked to be on his way up to the bathroom to shower, and she didn't want to have to reheat the food. 

"Oh." Clark said, his hand resting on the stair railing and his right foot on the first step. "I guess I better eat it then." He exclaimed smoothly, moving from the steps and sitting himself at a chair.

Lois watched as he sat down and picked up a fork. She was worried he might not like it, and her hands gripped the back of her chair as she smiled helplessly for an answer.

"It's good."

She let out a deep breath and sat down at the table with him. "Thanks. I thought I may have burnt the eggs." She unfolded a napkin and set it on her lap.

Clark simply nodded and bit into a piece of bacon.

He wasn't showing much of anything, his hunger seemed to the only thing he was preoccupied with. She thought about asking him another question, but she held her tongue in check. There was no point in possibly ruining an already somber morning. They had to be at the funeral home to take the casket to the graveyard at eleven. "I ironed out your pants for later." She said suddenly. She was more than certain that he couldn't get upset about that.

Clark nodded again. "Thanks." He mumbled.

She smiled softly and dug into her own plate. There was no more talking though, it served no purpose. And so the silence ensued, but it wasn't as painful as before. She was nibbling on a piece of toast when she saw him push his plate forward and get up. 

"I'm taking a shower." He said, turning and walking up the stairs.

Her hand stopped moving as she watched him disappear from view. Clark had just volunteered words without being asked something. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she finished her piece of food and stood up. Taking both their plates to the dishwasher, she opened it up and slipped them in.

The morning became a blur as she made her own haste to get ready. Lionel would be by with the limo shortly and she needed to be ready. Quicker than she thought ever possible, she had taken her shower and was dressed. She wore the same as the day before, her hair hanging loosely and an umbrella in one hand.

The faint echo of tires on gravel rang in her ears as she watched Clark come down the stairs. He made no sound, not even the slightest scrape of his shoes on the wood. His face was as rigid as ever, his eyes even colder than before. Somehow she knew he was dreading everything about today, freezing up as solid as he could do that he couldn't let his pain overtake him. It pained her though, and she fought mightily to keep from saying so. She was just as good at holding things in, but for some reason she felt the incredible urge to release her feelings. No, she told herself, she would wait until tomorrow to try and open up to him.

The weather had improved, but it was still dreary and bleak. No rain fell, but there was chilling wind that bit into her face as she descended the steps of the porch and entered the vehicle. There was no one else inside, but she knew they were likely at the funeral home, waiting.

-

The funeral home was quiet as they walked in, leaving her umbrella in the vehicle. As she entered the main room, her coat still rapped about herself, she put a hand on the small of his back. She didn't know why she did so, but it seemed appropriate. The flowers had all been removed, resting on the ground beside the casket that was pulled away from the dais so that it could be picked up.

The funeral home director motioned for some off the men to step forward at take the casket.

Clark went to the rear of the coffin, picking up the back end with Martha's father. Lionel and Pete took the front. It wasn't heavy, but Lois was surprised at Clark. There was no strain on his face, or his hands. It was much like earlier, just a few days ago, when he had lifted the sacks of grain up like a pair of meek kittens. She pushed those thoughts aside as she followed them out the side doors of the funeral home to where the Hurst was waiting. Her tears were wetting her cheeks as she stood watching them place Martha in the back. When the door of the Hurst closed, it echoed loudly.

They filed into the limo slowly, each one of them unwilling to speak, their tears betraying their voices with each passing moment. She went in last, following Clark and sitting beside him and her father. Chloe, Pete, and Lionel were sitting across from them. Out the back of the window she could see Martha's father in his Lincoln, waiting to follow after them towards the cemetery. As the car began to pull from the parking lot, she watched the street lights pass by at what seemed like an alarming rate. In truth, they weren't going fast at all. She was letting her memories mix in with her present state, creating a reality where everything seemed surreal.

The cemetery was close, but it seemed like an eternity to get there. The rain that had threatened to fall earlier had finally decided to descend upon them. The limo pulled into the small driveway of the cemetery, parking halfway down so that they would have to walk to the plot. Each one of them knew the drill; Jonathon's passing having taught them what was to occur. Grabbing the umbrella, she exited before them all, waiting for the others to get out so that she could be with Clark. Everyone accepted that she was going to stand with him. Even her cousin put up no argument, and she had been closer to him than she was.

Clark came out last, straitening his suit as he walked past her and went towards the Hurst. Lois, along with Chloe, walked towards the plot where Jonathon's tombstone was already dressed with flowers. Martha's headstone had not been placed yet. It had yet to be made, but in due time she would come out with Clark and dress it with flowers too.

Chloe had her own umbrella, but a larger one at that. She watched as they casket came forward, her tears falling freely as she spied the priest walking from his own vehicle. She could never decide if a priest at a funeral was truly sad, or if he was just doing his job. The small and stocky man of the cloth walked in front of the coffin, his white robe showing the wet drops of rain that had fallen .

Lois cried openly as the casket was placed overtop of the hole, resting upon the straps that would lower it later. She stared right at the coffin, unwilling to remove her eyes, feeling as if she did so she might lose even the memories of Martha. 

The priest had already begun, and she still didn't take her eyes off the casket. It wasn't until she caught Clark out of the corner of her eye, his body rigid and placid, and his eyes looking at his mother with her, before she tore them away. Sadness, nothing but sadness seeped into her soul. There was no buffer, nothing in the world that could pull her from the ever ending pain that she knew would last. Clark's visage and Martha's death finally hit her full on, bringing the rain down upon her as she felt the umbrella falling from her hand. The days of holding in the pain, allowing it to eat away at her as she acted strong, ripped through her like a rock through glass. It shattered whatever barriers that kept her pain from coming forward.

Everything went slowly, the words, the time, and even the rain. It became a moment of complete tranquility. There was nothing else like it, not even at Jonathon's burial. In the flicker of the moment that had passed, she hadn't noticed Clark catch the umbrella before it had hit the ground. Instantly her mind and her heart came crashing back into reality. His eyes looked right at her as she stared longingly, searching for something remotely human. And for the slightest of seconds, it crossed them, a shadowy flicker that was there a moment and gone the next. The words of the priest echoed in the background as she continued to look deep within him, searching out the pain she knew was there. Once again time had no meaning, their gazes locked in submission.

Clark held the umbrella overtop of her, moving himself closer so that he could keep his own body dry.

Sam held his hand to his daughters back as he listened to each word, looking off into the distance.

When he finally tore his gaze away, she continued to stare up at him until he moved closer, the umbrella above both of them. His body seemed to be emitting warmth that she couldn't quite comprehend. It was constant, its glow and embrace wrapping her tightly in a blanket of content. There was no other description for it, for it slowed her heart rate and calmed her mind. It wasn't a second later when she realized that it was in fact his hand, gripping hers tightly, that was making her warm. She allowed herself to focus on it, letting it heal her anguish with his warmth and tenderness. It was the most joyous moment of her life, yet her stomach was still gnawing in the pain of Martha's death. The words in the background became a distant memory, disappearing like a deer into the woods. She wondered if she let herself give in completely, she would in fact be taken away from this reality, and placed in a world where only happiness reigned.

She snapped back to reality as the book in the priest's hands snapped shut soundly. Blinking, she clutched tighter to Clark's hand, steeling herself as her father began to hand a single rose to each one of them. Once he had finished, he placed his own on the casket. After him followed everyone else, Lionel, Pete, Chloe, and Martha's father, each placing their roses on top too. She was surprised that the priest had been so quick, but she was pretty sure she it had been her that had had the difficulty with time. She had gotten lost in Clark's touch. It was good thing though, it healed her, brought her a sense of rejuvenation.

They stood there, their umbrella struggling to stay up in the wind of the early morning. Everyone else left the plot, walking back to the vehicles. Only she and Clark stood there, their bodies close to one another. He didn't look like he was growing to move, but she was surprised when he suddenly stepped forward, releasing her hand, and set the rose on the casket. The rain was coming down more heavily, each drop making a large wet spot on his long black coat. She watched as he kneeled down and placed a hand on the casket.

"Goodbye mom." He said softly, his voice as solid as ever.

She felt the tears come unbidden once again, their presence signifying the end. As he stood up, she dropped her rose on the casket and grabbed his hand again. Together they stood silently. "Goodbye." She said too, her throat tightening up.

"Clark?" She asked softly, after standing there for almost two minutes.

He just turned to her and said, "Let's go." as he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Nodding solemnly, she turned and walked with him back to the vehicle. The rain was now coming down in droves, pounding the wet grass like they driving fence posts into the earth. It was over, but for Clark the healing had just begun.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The next week had been pretty much as she had expected, save one thing. Clark was still walled up tighter than a cow in a clipping stall. She couldn't fathom why he was still letting the pain eat him up, she had told him numerous times it was okay to open up. He had ignored her request though, shrugging them off without even a vocal response. After about her thirtieth try, he had ignored her completely.

It was Sunday, six days since the funeral and she had pretty much moved all her things back into the farm. She had refused to take Martha's room, but knew in time that if she could hold on to the faintest hope that Clark would come out of his trance, she would eventually move her things in their. Smallville had hit the pine, well, rather the couch that is. He didn't say anything about it, but she could have sworn the day she had shown up with luggage and boxes he had squinted and frowned. But as usual, it disappeared quickly, his face going cold in a near millisecond.

She had cooked for him, cleaned the house, and even did his laundry. It was a small price to pay for the day she knew he would open up. The human heart could only take so much before it was torn asunder. There was no doubt in her mind that he would eventually grieve. After the fourth day of no conversation, she had begun thinking that he would be like he was forever, but once when she asked him to open up; he had again said "Soon." From that day forward she had no lingering doubts, he would come out of his trance in due time, allowing his mind to work over every little detail before he let it all out.

She busied herself over the counter, pouring herself a glass of milk as she looked at the recent messages Clark had taken down when she had been in town for groceries. She sighed as she read the last one. It said that the headstone was in place, and that they were free to visit it at anytime. Maybe if she brought him to the cemetery he would finally be able to put closure to it.

The sun was still high in the western sky, the late afternoons as hot as ever. With a glass in hand, she went to walk out to the barn, but stopped. She smiled to herself as she grabbed another glass and poured it full for Clark. Accepting the role of being his housekeeper and maid was a frustrating one, especially since he never said thank you. She bore it all with endearing patience though, waiting for the moment when all of it would be worth it. She finished her pouring and put the jug in the fridge. Scooping up both glasses, she walked out the back the door and towards the barn. She knew exactly where he was, in the stables. He fed the horses at exactly five-thirty, and it was such time now.

She crossed the sun parched gravel, dust flying into the air with each tread of her steps. The rain had poured the rest of the day during the burial, but since then the days had been scorching and dry. She quickened her pace, hoping to get the glass to him before the sun warmed up the milk. Darting behind the barn wall, in relief from the shade, she slipped into the barn delicately. She made sure not to trip on the concrete lip. "Smallville, I got you something to drink. I guess I just thought you'd be thirsty." She smiled to herself as walked in to see him standing in the middle of the barn. His back was turned to her, his hands holding the bottom of the fork, as if he was staring intently at the forks themselves. Her eyes squinted as she held the glasses more firmly. She got closer. "Smallville?"

There was no answer, which wasn't unusual, but he normally made some movement. Dropping the glasses on a bench, she said his name again as she finally reached him. "Smallville what-." Her words were cut off by complete surprise. In front of her he stood, his hands gripping tightly to the fork handle just below the prongs. His eyes were soft, his bottom limp trembling as tears streamed down his face. For a moment she didn't know what to do, too overcome with emotion and surprise to move or talk. It was the moment she had been eagerly anticipating, the moment she knew had to arrive eventually. "Clark?" She asked tenderly, standing in front of him and placing a warm hand on his forearm. 

"I-I-I." He stuttered. Words failed him as he fell to his knees in pain. The world suddenly opened up around him, images and memories slamming into his mind like a tsunami. There was no gentleness to it; it rammed so hard that he thought that he had been whipped head first into a huge mountain of Kryptonite. Falling forward, he caught himself with his hands, his open palms slapping the concrete loudly.

Lois bent down beside him, her hand resting on his back as she tried whatever she could to sooth him. "It's okay." She muttered. "Let it all out Clark. I'm here for you."

He fell on to his side, his right elbow betraying his weight. "Lois." He gasped suddenly, fighting past the pain that was continuing to flow through him.

"Yes Clark. I'm here." She reiterated.

He struggled to breathe as he shook violently on the floor, his arms hugging himself tightly. "It hurts so much." He exclaimed painfully, forcing each word out with incredible difficulty.

"I know, but you have to let it out." She was pleading with him, trying to make him understand that to make it go away he would have to release it all, freeing the chains that were wrapped around his heart and mind.

"N-no." He almost screamed, his lungs releasing a sudden rush of air so that his voice could be heard. "It still hurts too much."

"Just scream Clark, let it all out." She urged him on; reassuring him it would all work out. "For me, Smallville, do it for me." Her arms snaked out and pulled him into her lap, his body still trembling. His body was cold, his tears feeling like ice as they fell from his chin and onto her arms.

Clark felt her warmth overtake his senses, allowing him to finally open his eyes. The moment his lids were open, his mouth emitted a deafening scream.

Her head rang like she was standing right beside a church bell. The piercing scream tore through her and the barn, the walls shaking and the animals balling. It was something inhuman, something no man should have emitted. It wasn't until the ringing in her ears stopped that she had realized exactly what he had screamed. He was saying the same words over and over, but now more softly. He cried for his mother, repeating it over and over again as she felt him stop shaking. He was sobbing loudly, his body racking every five seconds as he drew in ragged breaths.

He felt all the pain that had threatened to overtake him, wash away in her arms. In her gentle caress his world cleared, the dark and dreary clouds disappearing into the horizon as the sun shone brightly in his mind. He was not alone, he had her, he had Lois. "Lois." He wheezed, repeating her name over and over again as he tried to catch his breath. She would be his light at the end of the tunnel, her brown hair and hazel eyes beckoning him back to reality, keeping him from the brink of madness. Not matter how deep and alone he would ultimately feel, he knew she would be right there with him.

He remembered the past week vividly, how she had stood by his side, comforted him, and even took care of him. He owed her so much, but was unable to find a way to make it up to her. So many times he had wanted to give in, let the pain swallow him up and render him mad, but he withstood its constant assault. Now it had gotten to the point where he could no longer hold it back, and he was lucky she had been there with him, otherwise he wasn't sure if he could have found the willpower to get through it. His sobs became quieter as he breathed deeply, trying to steady himself so that he might be able to sit up. 

She felt him try to rise, but she forced his weak body back to her lap, her hand rubbing his hair softly. "Just let me hold you Clark. Everything will be okay if you just lie still."

Clark forced a smile through his lingering pain. "Okay." He said meekly.

The corners of her lips tugged slightly upwards as she dropped a few of her own tears. They weren't tears of pain, but tears of joy. She had done what she had set out to do, help him heal. "What triggered it?" She asked softly, rubbing a hand down his cheek and slowly resting a finger on his chin.

"I had no more work to do." He replied suddenly. He almost laughed, but his throat wouldn't allow him. "I was looking for something else to do, and then I realized there was nothing."

"Is that all?"

Clark smiled at her hint of annoyance. "I don't know if there's anything else I could really say." He said finally, trying to deflect the question. He wasn't quite ready to revisit the pain he had just released. She wasn't giving up though. 

"Come on Smallville, there has to be something else." 

He smiled, looking up into her wet eyes. "The other day-." 

"Yes?" She asked suddenly, interrupting him.

"You burned the eggs."

She smiled widely and cupped his face, bringing her lips to his. She parted for only a second to say, "I know." before she continued her soft assault on his mouth as her tears continued to fall.

**The End**


End file.
